Rome, Italy - Two of the biggest names in Hollywood are purchasing the famous Roman Coliseum. Tom Cruise and John Travolta stumbled across the building purely by accident while vacationing with their families. Cruise says, "At first, we didn't know what the heck it was. I just thought it was a big, rundown place. A fixer upper. It looks like a lot of the tear downs in Beverly Hills...
Vienna, Austria - A deep insider at TwixFlix movie rentals has leaked the past three years of President and Michelle Obama's favorite flicks. President Obama apparently and allegedly rented movies under the code name "Mr. Kenya". His top...
New York City, NY - The NY Times has announced that from now on, their news articles will contain no more than five words. Editor Jimmy Choo says, "With texting and IM'ing and everybody so busy these days, we just don't think it's cost effect...
With the royal nuptials a done deal, biographer Kitten Lee Kelly has compiled a "tell all" list of the women who have been loved and left by the dashing, very tall Prince. Here's a sneak peek of who they are! Drekka di Beckwith of Pukeingham Sissy Maplethorpe Gagwith BellaWhammy Luttonfield Buttlebumster Fecka Feckless Peckerface Pippi Longstockingswishingham Tippie TylerCa...
A popular search engine has crashed after millions of people worldwide entered search terms pertaining to the royal wedding. The internal records of the company were released today which has begged people to stop repeatedly entering the following phrases and/or words: " Princess Grace ripoff copycat wedding dress" "snippy + dry + + kiss" " Chelsy , Chelsy, Chelsy! Yeaaaaaaaaaaah!"...
Philadelphia - An unnamed auction house in Pennsylvania says they have found a lithograph by Andy Warhol of Subo in a bank vault. The discovery has rocked the art and singing world. Art critics world wide have said it's utterly beside the point t...
Hollywood, CA - America's Sweetheart and favorite chick flick blond has come clean about what she likes in the bedroom. And it isn't Water For Elephants. "Me and my ex Ryan (Mr. Phillippe-Witherspoon) broke up for way different reasons than e...
London, England - Paisley Andrews, an astrologer with a royal cosmic gripe, says she's looked at Kate's chart and knows the truth. "She's a typical C-word….no, not THAT one… the other C-word: Capricorn. Actually, Capricorns are c**ts so the t...
Wall street, New York - As the economic crisis deepens in the U.S., many Americans are being advised by financial gurus to relocate to smaller towns where the cost of living is much lower and they can afford to purchase food, clothing, and the oc...
With the intense media coverage of Kate Middleton's pending entry into the rarified world of fashion icon-istic-fabulosity, American women who are always the primary targets of such rot, are being told by media pundits that Miss Middleton is the po...
Parched, Nevada - With a clumsily taped up and still oozing head wound, George Hardup of Las Vegas has pointed an accusatory finger at neurologist and all around generalized head and brain surgeon, Mr. Dr. Ronnie Elmstein, M.D. Ph.D, saying Dr. E...
Washington, D.C. - As the economic crisis deepens, gas prices skyrocket and housing values continue to crash, many Americans have learned that it's not fancy amusements like going to the movies or an exciting trip to Walmart that matter. They've...
Doubtsville, USA - Since the passing of Dame Elizabeth, new and disturbing questions have arisen about the color of her eyes, which filmgoers and fans have been told were a rare shade of violet. However, a few brave doubters have stepped forward...
Malibu, CA - The royal newlyweds have just purchased a 20 room beachside home in California where they will live and raise their family, far from the cold, damp weather of England which they both despise. Prince William explained. "I hate drafts,...
Famed French seer, Nostradamus, has been exposed as a sot drunk by his great great great great great niece. The news has understandably upset doomsday buffs, professional paranoids and assorted religious zealots who have been looking forward with...
Middle America, USA - A recent survey of Americans indicate that they do not know Prince William's last name or even if he has ever had one. Some Americans believe his last name might be "Buckingham" or the longer and more unwieldy version, "Pri...
Los Angeles, CA - Serial killer and arch fiend Charles Manson reportedly is busily fiddling around in his jail cell writing his memoirs. The publishing company, "Bloodthirsty Junk Online, Inc." contacted him via his "celebrity serial killer c...
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