Homoeopathic researchers at the Water Memory Project in Bath have successfully located the homoeopathic trace memory of the very bath water that Archimedes leapt from whilst shouting Eureka three thousand years ago. "We are bowled over by this dis...
After the fall of the Persian Empire in 632, Omar, the 2nd successor to the prophet of Islam, issued his legendary order: 'Burn the libraries, for their value is in this book, (i. e., Moslem script).' The result of this decision and its complications was/has been, in fact, tantamount to surgically removing the brains of the Persian scientists of the time. After the burning of the books, Arabs, wh...
POLITICAL FACEBOOK Rick Santorum: Hey Mitt how's your Etch A Sketch doing? 8:14 a.m. Mitt Romney: It's doing great Ricky boy. Do you still really feel that if I ran against President Obama that Republicans should vote for him and not me, a GOPer. 8:19 a.m. Rick Santorum: Do skunks stink? Is Lake Michigan wet? Does Lindsay Lohan have hundreds and hundreds of freckles? Of course I do "Hai...
I am aware of the sad fact that I am not perfect. This information initially came to me in the form of an ex-boyfriend giving me another girl's ratty shirt (there was no way I owned that thing) when I went to claim my belongings only a day after the split. Thanks Steve, message received, loud and clear. Once I was forced to acknowledge my flaws, I began my "enlightenment phase," in which I began m...
A Clerkenwell woman has been named London's Worst Cyclist 2011 at the prestigious London Cycling Like a Dick Awards. 22 year old Fashion Magazine editorial assistant Tamara Okyaa scooped the award last night at the Hoxton hotel ceremony after dazz...
Question: How many Blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: Five, one to hold the light bulb and four to spin the ladder around! Recently a friend emailed me several Blonde jokes, including the one above. I first heard this "dumb" joke in the playgrounds of the 1940s, but they weren't Blondes who were spinning the ladder around. Back then the "they" were Americans of certai...
These days, the media is full of depressing but thrilling news about the financial crisis. It is regularly implied that we are all doomed, that banks will fail, governments will fall, and nothing will work in the future. But somehow the world continues turning. It's enough to make one hit oneself over the head with a brick and yell, "What does it mean? What does it all mean???" So here, in the...
In a recent survey carried out by Gallop Holes, it was discovered that aligning yourself to a party such as the BNP is a massive indicator of IQ, much more so than economic or educational background. "We were amazed," said Lee Ping, Gallop Hole's...
Tracking temperatures well into the 90's across the United States, with some regions topping 100 degrees Fahrenheit, the National Weather Service has decided to escalate their normal advisory up to an "Idiot Warning" for the next two days. Advis...
The Ministry of Defence has announced job cuts in the armed forces of over one hundred thousand front line men and women. "This may sound, at first, like terrible news," said Brigadier Brian Gardener. "It's a huge number of soldiers. What we're ac...
Proponents of electoral reform were delighted today at the news that after wasting time with stuff no-one cared about like PR or AV or whatever, one of the real issues actually gripping the nation was to be decided by a plebiscite of the whole elect...
A new religion has formed called Factology, a religion supposedly based entirely on fact. The religion was started when Reverend Babba Yagga Yuga (formerly know as Peter Simmons) was meditating in a field when a strange vision came to him. He said...
Government stupidity is high in America and even when the truth is demonstrated to the American government it refuses to listen to the American people. The legal hypocrisy is in reference to a 16-year-old boy from Florida who will be tried as an...
Gerald Foster, a 35 year old man from the small town of Staines ejaculated himself into a coma and was rushed to A&E on Monday night at 5:30 His family says he was trying to break the world record and had no understanding that the previous rec...
R Sole, a contestant from Big Brother, the popular reality television show specifically for the UK's un-dead and brain-dead, has shocked the world of hype, fashion, farming and destruction of the English language by doing something useful as a result...
With many people having to not only vote on the referendum for AV but also for local councillors and in a few places local by-elections, it was no surprise that there would be mistakes made by some of the people voting. One of the most common mist...
Statisticians working on the 2011 UK Census are close to releasing the first findings from the latest national survey. Although officers are now out on the streets chasing up unreturned forms, millions have been returned or filed online - and it i...
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