WASHINGTON, D.C. - After embarrassing millions of airport travelers, the Transportation Security Administration has announced that within five months all airport full-body scanners will be unplugged and removed from all of the nation's airports. T...
The Environment Minister, Richard Benyon has today announced emergency measures for the British Summer Holiday. "Every year we have the same crisis, summer. Now we will be prepared." With immediate effect, town councils will be empowered to build...
Airports, seeking to get more money out of passengers exiting through their gates on international flights, have come up with inventive new ways of sucking the money out of their pockets. Most airports have already come up with the ingenious meth...
A massive swathe of London is to be converted into one huge airport with seven hundred runways after an argument between Boris Johnson and Patrick McLoughlin escalated. Please note, that Patrick has no relation to Colleen Rooney nee McLoughlin. This...
The future of pre-clearance US emigration facilities at Shannon Airport, Ireland, is causing concern. UK Irish community newspaper The Irish World reports this week: "It comes amid reports that the US Department of Homeland Security is set to redu...
The disruption to the fuel pipeline between Ellesmere Port and Manchester Airport has led to massive delays at the terminal, but there has been an unexpected knock on effect as the M56 has clogged up with aircraft heading for a nearby service station...
DENVER - General Urineitch retracted his previous announcement that he planned to invade Denver this month. He asks to please not tell anyone they are invading. Sources in Florida, at Disney World, report seeing Russian soldiers in uniform there.
The UK Border Force came under strong criticism yesterday after queues at Heathrow Terminal 5 hit record highs. A spokesman for the UKBA defended its' members in a statement released earlier today. He added; " We are doing absolutely all we can...
Denver residents are planning to line the streets and welcome the liberating Russian army this month, according to our source, Russian general Urineitch. Despite a puff piece published recently, hundreds of thousands of troops are expected to parade...
Giggsair's new French airport was at the centre of an airline industry row today following a mid-air emergency. Paris-Vatry-Disney was opened last week to howls of derision in the Press as the no-frills airline claimed it was the ideal arrival poi...
Salt Lake City - Security here at the Salt Lake City Airport detained a toddler after an officer smelled "a potential terrorist substance" coming from the child's diaper. One year-old Christopher Billingsly, known as Teddy Bear to those who love h...
The Prime Minister has revealed that anti-terrorism measures at this summer's London Olympic Games will include having CCTV cameras in positions enabling them to look inside the various toilet cubicle facilities within the Olympic Village in East Lon...
Following the refusal of the British Aviation Authority to rename Heathrow or Gatwick airports after him, London Mayor, Boris Johnson has renewed his attempts to open a new international airport in the Thames estuary, between Lancashire and Cumbria,...
The small Surrey town of Dorking is to get London's fifth international airport. Although officially part of Gatwick, the Dorking airport will have all its own facilities, including duty free and a Tie Rack. "This extension to Gatwick will crea...
Thousands of Muslims and Bangladeshi democrat constituents in Paterson, turned out to welcome President Obama as he flew in to the lightly affected region of Paterson, NJ, in the wake of hurricane Irene promising aid, jobs, and extended unemployment...
ORLANDO, Florida - Casey Anthony walked out of Orlando's Seedless Orange Prison For Women amid dozens of loud, boisterous chants consisting of every four letter word ever written. A reporter for The Big Apple Gazette Fitzwater Ribicoff reported th...
LOS ANGELES - Transportation Security Administration Spokesperson Clovis Baxter Shamnoodle met with the members of the media at LAX Airport. He informed them that due to the fact that a co-pilot aboard a recent Trans Air Arizona flight found a gre...
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