London - (Ass Mess): A bewildered and utterly betrayed Heir Apparent to the Pretender to the Puppet Throne has spoken for the first time about how he found out he hasn't a hope in hell of ever becoming King - except in the febrile Nazi imaginatat...
London - (Ass Mess): The Pretender to the Throne's heirs have told US TV show host Matt Lauer that sex lives are a pathetic sham and nobody bothers to ask them out on dates any more.
Channel 4 have confirmed that they will be showing photographs of Princess Diana's death, but that is of little interest to her sons, Their Royal Highnesses William and Harry.
Bovington Barracks Obama - (Ass Mess): The eldest son of the Pretender to the Throne has signed up for membership of the Faecesbook site which promotes networking for little shits who can't get a life without self-publicity.
Windsor - (Ass Mess): Clearly unfazed by recent romantic disappointments Prince William has financed an innovative internet-integrated strip club in a former pub called the Windsor Castle just yards away from his army barracks and asked brother Harry...
Prince William in an attempt to overshadow his well "eardowed" father Prince Charles, has left "poor" Kate standing "almost" at the alter!...
Carole Middleclass, the mother of Prince William's ex-girlfriend Kate Middleclass, is in the news again after it emerged that she was the main reason behind her daughter's premature Royal bre...
The Queen has finally broken her silence over the part she played in the recent break-up of the relationship between William and Kate Middleton.
The wife of Prince Charles, Camilla Barker-Powles, appears semi-naked in the new Royal Family photograph by Sergei Pavlenko, which can be seen at the Royal Society of Portrait Painters exhibition from today.
London - (Ass Mess): GMTV, the genetically-modified London broadcaster, has been accused of systematically ripping off viewers with a daily diatribe of relentless pap masquarading as bona fide news items.
London - (Ass Mess): Prince William has received a CD of Beyonce and Shakira's Number One hit single Beautiful Liar.
London - (Ass Mess): It must have been the tacky Woolworths royal engagement crocks that spooked the fairytale romance straight down the pan according to the retailer's irate shareholders who have seen their stock value plummet by over 50% since...
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II got more than she bargained for on a recent visit to the Albert Square set of BBC soap EastEnders, for, as well as a guided tour and a gin & tonic at the Queen Vic, she returned home wi...
London - (Ass Mess): It was over before it ever began. And now friends of Kate Middleton have told press reporters of her shock and upset when her first kiss with William turned into a macabre nightmare of Grimm Brothers proportions.
London - (Ass Mess): It's no wonder Kate Middleton dumped the Pretender to the Throne's son William.
Prince William, recently dumped by decidedly ordinary Kate Middleclass, is to try his luck with someone a few steps down the social ladder - and the evolutionary scale! - ex-Big Brother and Celebrity Big Brother slug...
The latest gamivideo games may have played a more significant part of our lives, results show from the much praised research programme headed by MIT.
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