London, UK - Cross-eyed ten year old royal brat Lady Louise Von Battenburg-Hitler won't be seen in public for at least another three years after surgeons said there was nothing more they could do about her, uh, problem. Queen Elizardbirth's pug-ug...
The "Mother of all hen parties" has been booked in Ibiza for the Queen's wedding vow renewal booked on 18th September to take attention away from Scotland's Independence referendum. Containers of sexy balloons, Queen outfits, plastic tickler orbs...
St George's, Grenada - Residents of the Caribbean island of Grenada, a British colony illegally invaded on President Ronnie Raygun's direct orders in October 1983, have blocked transmission of the annual BBC World Service Christmas Day broadcast feat...
Sagging trousers, heavy gold chains and a casual outside of trousers shirt are to be worn by British King, Prince Philip at next weeks wealth distribution visit to Harlem by the Royle Family. Spare jewels, gold and crowns are to be raffled using free...
LONDON - Tickety Boo News is reporting that Queen Elizabeth II, has stated that England will be honoring President Nelson Mandela who once said that he would rather walk in the London fog that sit in the Saigon smog. TBN's Neville Twickenbuck stat...
London, UK - A slew of weird omens and portents has kicked into action the Palace's official condolences site. Hosted by LA-based Aintgottaprayer.con bookmakers the online obituary tool cleared today's inaugural test run with flying colors reporti...
My Gerbil Percy (a name is ever there was one) loves to whistle tunes, you'll catch him on a Friday night whilst whistly at the moon. But that's not all you see he puts on quite a show, he's no one trick pony no, he's more feathers to his bow. He spins plates with spaghetti and twirls amongst confetti, a real sight or so I am told. A hearty soul my Percy Pal I'm so glad to have known. He...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Queen Elizabeth called up Michelle Obama and told her that she felt bad about England going against the United States and voting not to have anything to do with Syria. The queen remarked that she could not believe it when she sa...
Balmoral - "Where's Mrs Thatcher when one needs her?" Queen Elizabeth moaned today as she watched old 'The Enemy Is Socialism And The Labour Party' vids of the old bird's signature rap. A return to old-style Labour stalinism after the next electio...
Damascus, Syria - Some wag from the Syrian People's Popular Front for Not Hiding Stuff Behind A Burkha Any More is probably responsible for the 10ft x 6ft black ink drawing of Queen Elizabeth in tiara, pearls and gas mask that sprouted overnight on t...
London - Government documents released under the 30 Year Rule show Queen Elizabeth plotted to detonate a nuclear bomb in the event of being outed as a KGB impostor. Targets included the Duke of Kent and the Earl of Essex, described by NATO intelli...
NEW YORK CITY - Well now that Kate Middleton has finally had her baby she will have a new name bestowed on her that of Mommy. The royal baby weighed a whopping 8 pounds 6 ounces. Reports are that the Duchess of Cambridge's screams could be heard t...
SAVANNAH, Georgia - National Focus Magazine is reporting that former cooking show host Paula Deen has been offered a job in England. Durango Tucker with NFM reported that Queen Elizabeth has been following the sad fall from grace of Paula Deen and...
WINDSOR - Queen Elizabeth II has issued a royal decree stating that the coming of William's and Kate's spawn shall hurry the hell up and get here so that her holiday plans don't get mucked up. Although Her Majesty has been doing the talking, it i...
NEW YORK CITY - Prince William recently flew to New York City to visit with a publishing company about a book that he has been asked to write. While in America, William met with Tilapia Frisbee of The Right Coast Revue. The two had lunch at The...
In a shock announcement the Government has announced that the Queen is to be privatised. 'With any luck' said Prime Minister Cameroon 'there will be enough money from the sale to help us win the next election.' There has been no immediate response...
Sandringham, Norfolk - Festivities have kicked off early in her Fat Lady Blings farewell tour with some instant rough justice when a royal gardener found himself pushed into the Sandringham House lake for saying she'd 'milked it' for 60 years too lon...
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