Hollywood- Producers of the long awaited Burt Bacharach biopic fear the project is 'cursed' after Ron Howard became the third major director associated with the project to suffer a nervous breakdown. Previous victims of the 'Curse of Burt' are Steven...
Manchester-Ryan Giggs or 'Giggs-y' as he insists on being called reflected sulkily on his first week in charge of Manchester United the club he's supported since he were a lad. "Oooh it were right nice, i'm dead luck-eh int I? We'll be right good aga...
D.C.- President Obama yesterday confirmed that a selection of cuddly toys will be deployed in Afghanistan from next week as the U.S. attempts to limit drone strikes which have claimed an unacceptably high level of civilian casualties. "We thought th...
The BBC moved quickly today by immediately appointing angry pensioner and former Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson as the new co-host of Strictly Come Dancing. The announcement follows the decision of Bruce Forsyth to step down after ten years.
Manchester, England. Former Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson has been cautioned for attempting to "play mind games" with his neighbours as they go about their daily business. Ferguson has startled residents on his street by staring angrily...
Midwest, An attempt by annoying pop sensation Justin Bieber to become the first person to jump from an airplane and successfully land safely WITHOUT the use of a parachute has ended in disaster with hospital staff ruling out any possible public comeb...
The Hague, Netherlands: Plans to establish a permanent human settlement on Mars were thrown into disarray yesterday when it became known that brash dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong-Un has been included on the final shortlist of volunteers to make th...
Lima, Peru : Archaeologists working in the High Andes in areas of low oxygen supply have reportedly stumbled upon a legendary city of purest TIN. The find was made last week and provides the clearest evidence yet for the existence of a civilization d...
Drakesboro Kentucky, News has just emerged that technicians operating in a Google Street View vehicle collided with a Penny Farthing or high wheeler carrying fugitive conspiracy novelist Thomas Pynchon in rural Kentucky. Google spokesman:"We had to g...
Queensland, Australia: Attempts by Australian forest authorities to locate jazz singer and 10-time Grammy Winner Bobby McFerrin are being hampered by the mimicry of his voice by the Australian Lyrebird long famed for its ability to mimic any sound in...
Florida, An attempt to land Justin Bieber on the moon by shooting him from a catapult ended in disaster when the annoying pop sensation overshot his target and is now condemned to an infinity of drifting aimlessly in space at a uniform velocity witho...
Darien CT: Months of painstaking research and design ended in calamity yesterday when a man accidentally blinded himself while in the final stages of developing a homemade light saber. The mishap is thought to have occurred when Star Wars enthusiast...
Washington D.C. The Obama administration went into full damage limitation mode yesterday after delicate negotiations with Iran over nuclear weapons and cultural spheres of influence came crashing to a halt when the White House is believed to have acc...
Seattle, WA. A family run hotel in Ellensberg, Washington has been forced to shut down after a series of baffling incidents involving guests and ghosts believed to be characters and plot lines from gargantuan mid-1990s conspiracy novel 'Infinite Jest...
Knoxville, Tennessee. An agent for the notoriously reclusive writer has claimed that Cormac McCarthy was "genuinely delighted and thrilled" at plans by State Officials to open a theme park in honor of his novels later this year. The venue will in...
The History of the U.S. is being rewritten by a Chicago drug dealer who discovered that spinning his copy of the record 'Heart's Desire' by groove legend Don Blackman opens a wormhole allowing him to travel back in time to the late 18th Century. S...
NASA is continuing to neither officially confirm nor deny reports that its astronauts on board the International Space Station have become intoxicated on marijuana fumes which have gathered in the upper stratosphere between the station's orbit and De...
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