Customers of UK High Street Banks are increasingly reporting their unease about the recent trend for banks to demonstrate excessive goodwill and courtesy towards customers. 'I only dropped into Nat West to use the cashpoint,' said one customer. 'O...
The team behind the phenomenal "Price is Right" have launched a new TV game show. Called "EL PORCO D'ORO" or "The Golden Pig", it is sweeping America. To advertize for ten seconds during the show will cost half a million dollars. CNN executives are delighted and Jerry Springer says he is "disappointed" he wasn't asked to compere. It is in fact being compered by Ozzie Ozbourne. How does it work...
Ronald McDonald, CEO of the international fast-food franchise and part-time clown, has become the target of a hate group--the restaurant chain's own franchisees! "The bastard's greed is unbelievable," Betty Crocker, of Ann Arbor, Michigan...
Bahamas - Newly enthroned Archbishop Justin Welby is planning a rather splendid retirement in the Turks & Caicos Islands in ten years time as a hush-hush pension pot from former French big oil employers Elf Aquitaine continues to swell unabated.
For as long as there have been florists and card shops, February 14th has been called Valentine's Day in order to boost sales of flowers and cards during a slump in the card selling calendar. One section of society has long since come to hate this da...
Alleged do-gooder and former Police front man "Sting" famous not just for his monotone voice and drab personality but also his dabbling in things that he really has no knowledge about and "new age" philosophies has started a new charity that will hel...
New York -- The global economic crisis has finally caught up with Wall Street insiders who triggered it. They are discovering that their traditional year-end compensation is lowering the balance on their bank accounts, rather than raising it. "The...
The French town of Antibes is recovering today after a bus load of visiting American tourists went on an eating binge during a visit to the Cote de Azur. The visitors, from Texas, arrived in the quaint fishing port town at about 7 in the morning,...
Earl Spencer is putting together expensive package holidays aimed at the rich but not so famous. This category includes members of The Red Scarf Brigade (Susan Boyle's rich American fanatics). The Earl, Princess Diana's brother, is expected to hos...
Oh please let me in I want to be a politician, it's all so exciting - I'm a man with a mission! You'll love my mock-sincerity I've practiced it for years, my sombre-faced delivery will have you all in tears, you'll love my lies and promises I've honed them to perfection, now all I need to do is win the General Election! You voters will be much too thick to spot that I'm a total prick, a cad a k...
Let's all get hysterical about some kid who can sing a bit. What's that I hear - his mum struggled on her own to raise this likely lad? Good. We can use that to win over the bleeding hearts. And his dad is doing time? HUSH THAT UP NOW! We don't want to spoil the Product before it's launched......... This lad will go far backed by our marketing expertise, so wheel out the Publicity Machine an...
During an emergency session of GAFCOGS - the "Global Association of Fat Cats and Other Greedy Sods" - held at the members-only SKIMMERS & SCAMMERS club in the basement of number 49 Dean Street, Soho, in London's West End last night, there was wid...
Stuart Downing really should have taken a bit of time away from kicking the ball around, to read the small print on contracts etc. he was signing, pushed under his nose by his greedy, money-grabbing agent. Let this be a lesson to us all. Don't trust anyone but yourself and even then, be careful. Downing's agent is going on trial for siphoning thousands of pounds over the years from Downing'...
Rescuers are busy on a plan to reach millions of Americans who have become trapped somewhere between middle class and lower class without much of a chance of survival. They claim a level of greed several hundred feet thick is separating the trapped A...
The Duchess of York, once shown topless with a lover sucking her toes, went "all the way' this time with with her latest 'Naked Video' showing off her insatiable greed as she allegedly offered to sell access to the Royal Family, and primarily to he...
CHERRY HILLS, New Jersey - Despite the latest casualties in the 'Greeding' of America (wherein hundreds died in a stampede when aspartame was placed on steep discount) Mall$Wart CEO Clyde Homely says "Bring it On." Infamous for his draconian uni...
Donald Barlowe, 38, President of Texaco Oil, addressed a group of protesters today, citing good reason for raising the price of gas to such an alarming height.
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