After seven years of marriage, Professor Ernest Williams and his wife Carole have filed for divorce, in a process Williams called "banal and trite". "An affair with a teacher's assistant, Carole walking in on us, my things on the lawn," Williams l...
You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only. 1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early. 2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 3. I...
Never again will we hear the dulcet tones of 5 year-olds reciting 'one times zero is zero, two times zero is zero' etc. Education chiefs have erased the Zero Times Table recitation from the school curriculum, but deny its another streamlining tactic.
The Oxford University Press have today published a new, fully-illustrated dictionary aimed specifically at the ignorant. Over three pages long (it does actually run to a fourth page, or five if you count the intentionally blank page at the back), it...
In a statement issued earlier today, the Secretary of State for Education, Ed T'es Tecles has actually admitted why the SATS tests for 14-year old schoolchildren have been abandoned. The Minister had to admit that they weren't abandoned because ev...
Figures from the Joint Examiners for Learning Qualifications (JELQ) show 110.2% of entries in England, Wales and Northern Ireland passed, up from 109.9%. This means that 10% more students passed their exams than actually took them, a triumph for o...
Middlebury, Vt. /AP - Former Middlebury College President John McCardell has enlisted 100 college presidents behind his bill to lower the drinking age from 21 to 18 in an effort to make higher education "more fun". The Coalition of college pres...
The result of late test results, missing exam papers, dissatisfied exam markers and even the use of full-fat milk in tea has taught the government a valuable lesson. A senior spokesman for the Department for Education and the Engagement of Expensi...
Los Angeles, California - From the state that touts torts of tolerance with same-sex marriages, legalized medical marijuana and a history of voting two Hollywood "Republican" movie stars to the highest office of governor (but outlawed home schooling)...
The usual late summer comment that A Levels are getting easier has been overturned it was revealed today. The comment that thousands of teenagers only have to turn up to get an A star at A Level has been dispelled by suggestions that they are getting...
The Education Minister Ed Bollocks has announced that Marmite, the love it or hate it vegetable based spread will be made part of the National Curriculum from September 2008. 'It is important that the pros and cons of Marmite is made available to...
The number of students coming out of British schools with perfect grades after a hardly notable academic career of collages and parent produced science projects is about to overwhelm the university system with below average straight A's freshmen. At...
When NASCAR, the U.S. auto racing federation, announced last year that all drivers would be required to earn a Ph.D. by 2014, in addition to the physical exam requirements, the news made little fanfare.
As a record numbers of 16 to 19 year-olds are staying on in education in England, here are some of the latest courses they can do: * Learning to switch on your computer * Introductory Beano reading * Sandwich eating for beginners * Throwing scrumpled-up paper across the room into the bin * Advanced nose picking * Giggling uncontrollably at lunch time
Now that judges have deemed it fitting that thieves who steal to fund their drug, alcohol or gambling habits should be spared jail, Leicester University has announced an NVQ in drug taking, gambling and binge drinking.
WASHINGTon, DC - According to an alarming report issued by the U.s. Department of Education Wenesday, allmost 25 percent of all Americans adults is illiterate, a five dekade high,...
Santa Ana, California - Arrested on federal charges for having a handgun and bullets in her third grade classroom in early April, the teacher entered a not guilty plea in a Santa Ana courtroom today. Through her attorney, she insisted she never inte...
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