Recent research by UCLA has revealed that the vast majority of Americans are mystified and puzzled by claims that a large, independent country known as Canada exists just a few miles away from some major American cities. The survey, which was admini...
President Bush yesterday sharply condemned the disclosure of a program to secretly monitor the sperm count of suspected terrorists, as well as the sperm count of Americans. The inclusion of American sperm count was explained by: you never know; just...
In a jubilant conclusion to a special edition of The Amazing Race, three Brits (leader Prince Philip and team members Dame Maggie Smith and Sir Paul McCartney) parachuted into Central Park yesterday, startling late afternoon visitors. In the race fr...
HARVARD--One in 20 Americans are susceptible to uncontrollable anger attacks that lead to their sudden bodily explosions and death according to a new study. First, the victims may lash out in road rage, spousal abuse or other violent actions, researc...
Ever since a judge in Nebraska granted an offender parole instead of jail time because he was too "short" to survive in jail, many Americans are eager to achieve a short stature any way they can. For Barry Break-in, who has served jail ti...
Washington, D.C.- According to the US Census Bureau, 3 out of every 4 Americans now make up 75% of the total US population.
A recent survey conducted by the market research firm, NPD Group claims America's attitudes toward overweight people are shifting from rejection toward acceptance, citing that over a 20-year period, the percentage of Americans who said they find...
WASHINGTON (AP)-At an unprecedented White House news conference, Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito has praised President George Bush, saying, "Americans must bow down and worship this man, this Grand Republican. The time for the separation of Church...
Most Americans are unaware that even though President Bush has been leading the nation for 6 years he has in fact been in a medically induced coma since 1991. One White House physician said, "That explains why the President sometimes gets confus...
BAGHDAD - In a first ever occurrence in nature, a group of Iraqi lemmings have formed a suicide brigade, to launch suicide attacks on Sunnis, Shias, Americans, British, and anyone else they feel like.
Ah, New Years Resolutions...... Every year come January first, millions of Americans slam their fists on the table and collectively declare an intent to change. "This is the year, " we all say, "This is it." The first week of any given new year, approxamitely 240,000 perfectly good packs of cigarettes hit the trash, 1.5 million people swear off McDonalds, and an estimated 5.
NORAD is urging Americans to remain calm after a Russian janitor accidentally knocked over a bucket which flipped a mop which somehow struck the launch button of one of Russia's nuclear missiles. "We're sorry" the Russian president...
New York - Osama's Niece, Wafah Dufour, is fed up with Americans "not accepting her", she said in an interview with GQ magazine. "Everyone relates me to that man, and I have nothing to do with him (Osama)", she told r...
WASHINGTON (UPI)-- US President George W. Bush asserted last night that the United States is winning the war to plunder Iraqi oil and issued a plea to Americans divided by doubt, "Do not give in to despair and do not give up on this fight for im...
Every year, millions of Americans go "over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house" for Thanksgiving Dinner. Many, however, must stay home and cook the dinner themselves for the first time. This may be because finances...
Paris, France Today, in a nationally televised appeal, Jacques Chirac, President of France, issued an urgent message to all Americans currently in...
Warner Brothers' cartoon character Tweety Bird has been the latest death from the mysterious bird flu. Tweety was one of the first Americans and the biggest name star to contact and die due to the illness.
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