Washington - Republicans and Democrats announced today that they would be meeting by the swing sets at recess to "solve their differences" once and for all - and "no fair telling teacher!" "You're dead at recess!" said Obama, pointing an accusing...
This time of the year many people come up with a list of New Year's resolutions, and this is a list that we have come across from the President, enjoy: Win the 2012 Presidential Election. Convince all the voters that voted for change 4 years ago that this time that's not a good idea. Convince voters that in the last 4 years in the White House I've managed to do more than rack up 5 trillio...
As a special service to our premium subscribers, Northwest NewSmash is pleased to release the top predicted headlines for 2012: 1. Sasha and Malia - The President's Kenyan Child Brides? - Orly Taitz Demands Birth Certificates 2. Republican Candidates Pledge: Human Life Begins At Conception; Human Rights End At Birth 3. 'War On Poverty' Declared Over - Poverty Wins 4. Ron Paul Wins - P...
Washington--An out of shape Newt Gingrich is slowly falling behind in the race for the White House because is out of shape. An out of breath Gingrich tried to speak to reporters today, but struggled because he was out of breath. His spokesman did...
New York -- Just days after turning in his Republican membership card and secret decoder ring, real estate developer Donald Trump has launched his own personal political party. "It's called the Trumpets, because I'm a guy who likes to toot his own...
Political writer Jonah Wolfson who writes for Politico and Newsweek says he is shocked to see this unexpected rise in the two candidates. Says Wolfson "Here is a Republican field of candidates that is the best looking we have had this entire century.
Trice married Newton Leroy Gingrich is replacing Herman Cain both as the front runner of the Republican presidential nomination and in the ladies department. As yet, no ladies have stepped forward claiming extensive courtship, flowers, Tiffany gifts...
New York - Real estate developer Donald Trump has announced that his planned presidential debate has been canceled due to lack of interest and replaced by a holiday special. The program is scheduled to feature all of the remaining Republican candidat...
Washington--Newt Gingrich isn't sure if he is running for president or just promoting his production company. "Instead of campaigning, I am signing books. What the hell? I want to be taken as a serious presidential candidate. Sure, Obama did it w...
ATLANTA - In the days after his announcement that he was suspending his run for President, Herman Cain has done some soul searching regarding his conduct in the years leading up to his 15 minutes in the limelight. "I shouldn't have ever had sex wi...
ATLANTA -- Herman Cain suspended his bid for the Republican presidential nomination and thereby got the last laugh with two dozen or so women who were about to get their 15 minutes of fame. In recent weeks, women such as Sharon Bialek and Ginger W...
Atlanta - Beleaguered presidential hopeful Herman Cain returned to his suburban Georgia home to ask his wife the loaded question: "Should I continue to run even though they're saying that I cheated on you, honey?" Gloria Cain responded with a load...
BOSTON, MASS: Republican hopeful, Mitt Romney bowed out of the 2012 presidential race after The Daily Show's Jon Stewart accused him of having an affair with himself. This comes on the heels of Herman Cain's decision to quit the race after it was...
WASHINGTON, D.C.--In the court of public opinion, many Americans had been close to ruling that Herman Cain had a face that only a mother--and perhaps his wife--could love. But Cain can now thank Ginger White for attempting to save his image. White...
Washington, DC - Americans are betting that they can select a better president by chance than by choice. The presidential elections, which were scheduled for next November, have been replaced by the nation's first Presidential Lottery. The new rul...
Presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced what women may or may not do with their uterus. Or, what he and the government say women may or may not do with their uterus. It's a citizen's arrest if women cross Romney's uterine line. While he is pr...
Howdy! I'm Rick Perry, and I'm running for somethin' in Norway. Wait...that ain't quite right. I'm a dang ol' Texas boy, and I made these Gucci loafers...I mean, snake skin boots with a bear I caught with my own three hands. Confused? Me too. You see, after I went and started forgettin' stuff at the last debate, ma' campaign advisers decided it might temporarily boost my poll numbers if I...
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