LOS ANGELES - Kobe Bryant is one of the wealthiest athletes in all of sports. According to The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency he has a net worth of $200 million. Sports Balls Illustrated Daily is reporting that Bryant made $26 million for the p...
OTTAWA, MANITOBA - Pranksters who work for the Bank of Canada shocked and amused citizens of the northernmost North American Continent nation by infusing the green ink with which its banknotes are printed with lysergic acid dyethylmiode (LSD or, depe...
James Dyson, Britain's answer to Sir Clive Sinclair, has topped his trumps with his latest invention in the personal hygiene market: The Personalised Home Money Sanitiser. "This is a major step forward in cleanliness," said James Dyson. "We all kn...
The latest casualty of the worldwide, global, double dip, triple dip, sherbet dip recession, depression, financial compression, crisis, meltdown, age of austerity looks set to be the commemorative days of Mothers and Fathers Day. The two occasions ar...
Conference North mid-table team, Gloucester City, have discovered that as from next season, they will be homeless, after selling the ground they have played in for the past one hundred a twenty years, and owing their current landlords forty-thousand...
How, overnight, I became a multi-millionaire is not a kid's story! My regular exercise begins at dawn, of course, indoors; otherwise, plainclothes men might take me in as a suspect! Normally, I open the gate to look for unusual things such as a stranger's car parked right in the driveway, etc. On the morning of that very day, to my great surprise, I saw a black carry-on bag neatly and visibly...
SAVANNAH, Georgia - Little six-year-old Savannah Stubenberger, who was named after her grandmother Savannah Bacardi, has become one of the town of Savannah's most famous residents. Little Savannah, who attends Mrs. Robert E. Lee Elementary School,...
RUIDOSO, New Mexico - A group of archaeologists from Delaware stumbled upon an interesting find just outside of the town of Ruidoso, which is noted for its Gila Monster Grilled Burritos. Kiki Lily Chillydutch, 21, with the Delaware group stated th...
During the Cold War, because of the continuing threat of the Soviet Bloc to launch World War 3, West Germany decided to spread its 300 tons of gold reserves to different banks around the world to preserve the stability of the economy of what is now s...
With the economy in the state that it is in, the rising cost of weddings has become something that many men are deciding against tying the knot. "It costs several thousand quid," said Harry Balls, a mathematics lecturer from Sheffield University,...
Before decimalisation in the 1970s, it was common for a bob to be left under a pillow in exchange for a tooth. After decimalisation, a bob became ten pence. This state of affairs lasted until the affluent eighties when teeth doubled in value, out pac...
After months of speculation the identity of the next governor of the Bank of England has been revealed as Olly Murs. George Osborne stunned the city by announcing that Olly Murs, the runner-up in the sixth series of The X Factor in 2009, will repl...
In an effort to combat the ongoing recession, the Chinese government is currently attempting to place a monetary value on life based on earning potential. Preliminary reports have been released with estimates of how much they have determined people t...
A top English Premier League club has an opening for a full-time professional footballer to work within a highly motivated multi-lingual team of prancing prima-donnas. Interested parties should be able to demonstrate a high level of skill, and will be required to show their ability to blow their nose with one finger, and gob large amounts of spit onto the floor. The successful applicant will al...
Tiny Irish rock knob-head Bono, 3' 4", has sensationally reformed Girls Aloud he said today, from his castle in Switzerland. The U2 frontman has taken full responsibility for the girl bands reformation, telling reporters that he should now be offi...
Tampa - A discarded copy of Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's acceptance speech from Tampa shows that he would pursue the creation of a new One Million Dollar Bill if elected President. A copy of the speech, found in a dumpster out...
A bill explicitly stating that citizens will be allocated 1 second of free speech for every $10,000 of pre-taxable income they earn per year has made its way through the Senate subcommittee process. The following is a transcript of the final hearing. 2012 A BILL TO CODIFY, GUARD, AND BOLSTER FREE SPEECH RIGHTS IN THE UNITED STATES HEARING BEFORE THE SUBCOMMITTEE ON THE CONSTITUTION,...
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