Pope Benedict XVI has canonised Australia's first native-born saint, Mary MacKillop, to the cheers of up to a million faithful and another million undecided, but who like a good spectacle all the same. They gathered at St Peter's Basilica, overloo...
A Brisbane child carer, Sheila Box-Jellyfish, who was convicted of assaulting handicapped children in her care, has sensationally won an appeal which allows her to continue working. In separate incidents, she tied one child to a toilet and beat hi...
The Australian boozer frequented by famous Aussie monument, Crocodile Dundee, is to be flogged. The current pub owner has had enough of telling Crocodile Dundee stories to passing tourists and Aborigine "Walkabouter's" in fact he's so sick of peop...
AUSTRALIA- A leading psychologist and social expert have concluded that Australia has lost the ability to decide anything. Gordon Witherby, founder of the Institute of Modern Thought, presented his finding to a reception last night. "The 68-all...
CANBERRA- Legislation has passed the Senate today, allowing for Farmville Farmers to export their crops to potential overseas clients. This legislation comes after months of protests from disgruntled Farmville farmers, or 'facebook farmers', who u...
SYDNEY- An 18 year old was clocked doing 50 kilometers an hour in a 50km limit street in Western Sydney overnight. Sergent Paul Lowes was shocked by the incident. "He's giving probationary drivers everywhere a bad name.' he said. "When you s...
Emergency services are dealing with the aftermath of an attack by Great White sharks on the world famous Bondi Beach, in Sydney, Australia yesterday. The incident left 13 people needing hospital treatment, with 26 others described by paramedics as "w...
Under mounting media pressure, the Australian government has devised an extraordinary policy to deal with the growing influx of illegal boat people. What has been described as the 'one policy solution', the Australian Minister for Immigration, Satish...
HOLLYWOOD - A Dancing With The Stars insiders has revealed that ex-Baywatch star, and ex-America's Got Talent judge David Hasselhoff is already starting to let his male libido interfere with his assigned job. And his assigned job is to win this se...
Australia is reeling this morning after it was announced that an Aboriginal has become the first one of its kind to win a seat in the country's House of Representatives. The quite normally-named Ken Wyatt, 57, won the seat of Hasluck in Western Au...
The bottom is falling out of the Australian dollar as the meerkats compare the prospect of a well hung parliament following the weekend's election, where the worlds largest convict colony couldn't be arsed to vote properly. Julia Gillard, Clarice...
One day after denying newspaper reports that he was about to defect to the Labour party, ex-British Liberal Democrat party leader Charles Kennedy has left the country to join Australian Julia Gillard's Labour party. Kennedy is no stranger to scand...
SYDNEY, OZ: As his fellow scientists hollered: "Show us your freckle, luv", obliging Oz astronomer Freddie 'Feckin' Feckless lowered his drawers and revealed his puckered freckle to the world. Freddie, who has spent a life-time searching the skie...
MELBOURNE: Soul-mates are hard to find; even harder to keep. Especially if you're into the creepy-crawly-scaly. And if you're not the full quid - well mate that's fair dinkum. But Crocodile Mick Dundee was all smiles today as he told reporters...
Dear Sir, How are yer? Notice that I didn't say 'Good day, Sport!' Oops! Now I did! Silly me! Yer can take the larrikin outa Perth but yer can't take Perth outa the larrikin! Jeez! Never mind, she'll be right, mate! Fair dinkum, cobber! Kids and water, they love it. Rivers, canals, even the lily pond in the garden. Yer can't keep 'em away from it. Estuaries, seas, lakes. They can't keep out.
SYDNEY: Strange things happen Down Under. Take, for example the quirky culinary/personal grooming habits of former Australian prime minister Kevin Rudd who has the unusual distinction of being captured via world-wide video prodding out gobs of crus...
Former Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, has been hospitalised today, suffering from what pundits are describing as acute self delusion. Mr Rudd was witnessed by a number of people declaring to anybody who cared to listen that he was the "Messia...
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