(New Yawk, NY)-- New scientific data indicates most global warming can be blamed on the common practice of masturbation. The disgusting habit is responsible for raising world-wide temperatures by at least 5 degrees. Only male masturbation was studi...
Washington,DC/ Pessimistic News - An epic battle is shaping up as the Democrats two top Demagogues battle it out for top billing in the Nation's Horror Show under the guise of "fresh new leadership and the promise of HOPE & CHANGE." Nobel peac...
Dubai/UAE Plumbing News - The shit has been running non stop down hill in this mega pseudo Disney Land for the Mega Rich and "Look I'm Famous" crowd with announcements that billions of gallons of raw sewerage is being pumped directly into the oce...
Washington DC-- Former Vice-President Al Gore hailed the success of his campaign against global warming at a speech to the National Clown Club today. The flatulent ex-Veep stated colder global temperatures are a direct results of his tireless action...
Washington,DC/ Washington Post/Life Style Section - VP Joe "Rambo" Biden and Hedge Fund Manager/Solar Dildo spokesman Al Gore, both agree: their new underwear has freed their libido, as well as reinvigorated their hair follicles! The exciting an...
London/ Icelandic Times - Admitting defeat, financial guru Bernie Madoff officially threw in the towel and turned over the reigns to his official title of "Mister Green the Money Machine" to Nobel Peace Prize winner, Al "Tubby" Gore and his boutique...
Nashville - In a symbolic gesture, Al Gore, is donating all of his long underwear to charity. The former Vice President announced Wednesday, Christmas Eve, that because of the advancement of Global Warming in our world, neither he, nor anyone else...
Helsinki/ Reuters - Once again the Human Sausage, Al Gore, leads the way to promote his vision of the consequences of Global Warming. His latest marketing ploy is to become the spokesman for Finnish Camouflage clothing utilizing the patented M/05 p...
After much hysteria over supposed 'man made' global warming, the fact that the sun has now come out of a thirty year height in its activity and the planet is now cooling, has caused panic in the real (not paid off by corporations and government grant...
Stuttgart, Germany/ Aviation Times - In a stunning reprisal of life imitating art, Democrat Actor Al Gore will be playing the rotund Hermann Goering in the remake of the WWI flying epic "The Blue Max". He will also be portraying a "flak balloon" in...
Following his success at the Nobel awards, Al Gore, the self proclaimed saviour of our planet, has shifted his attention to carnivores who, according to a recent study, have perpetuated the rise in global temperatures significantly. The study, car...
Washington AC/DC - (ET Mess): Alien Hunter Derrel Sims has emerged as Pentagon hacker Gary McKinnon's accomplice after declassified FBI files revealed today that Al Gore gagged US military research connecting UFO activity to the rise in global warmin...
Perennial Democratic Poster Boy Al Gore announced today he would be the worldwide spokesperson for the new solar powered dildo marketed under the "MEAN GREEN MACHINE " label and sold in K-Mart under the Martha Stewart line of household implements.
Former Vice President Al Gore is embarking on a new path. He is starting companies that will compete in important industries. The focus will be on products that will be energy efficient and support other policy goals. After a career in politics, G...
Nutty enviro-MENTAL-ist Al Gore has been shouting all week about the huge Olympic Flame, burning away on top of the Birds Nest Stadium since the 2008 Olympic Games started, but no one has been paying any attention to him - even though he seems to hav...
Boulder Colorado - Climatologists have announced the source of global warming surprisingly has been pinpointed to the escalating length and number of speeches on climate change by Al Gore.
Tennessee Times, July 2008: A new unauthorized biography of Al Gore will hit the bookstores next month. It chronicles the Gore family history from the time the Patriarch Alphonsis Gorelescu left Europe and came to America, to his modern day heirs. Here is the frontispiece summary of this 3211 page coffee table book.
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