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Spoof stories written by Frank Cotolo

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Funny story: Commission says tattoos are deadly

Commission says tattoos are deadly

MADRID, Spain -- A European commission warned that tattooing puts poisonous chemicals into the skin. It has something to do with "widespread ignorance about the substances used in tattooing dyes."...

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Funny story: What's in a title? A lot of words, that's what

What's in a title? A lot of words, that's what

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. -- Jaws was a short movie title. So was Suspicion and, of course, the shortest was M. Things have changed. Today movie titles are anything but succinct.

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Funny story: Study says doctors don't tell patients all they know about conditions, blame insurance coverage

Study says doctors don't tell patients all they know about conditions, blame insurance coverage

BELLPATTON, Iowa -- A study recently showed that "nearly one in three doctors reports withholding information from patients about useful medical services that aren't covered by their health insurance companies, and the number may be on the rise."

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Funny story: Hawaii beaches voted best in America

Hawaii beaches voted best in America

NEW YORK, N.Y. -- Hawaii's Kaanapali Beach was just voted this year's "America's Best Beach" by a coastal scientist who praised its white coral sand, clear emerald-green waters and starfish population. The three-mile plot of sand is on the dry and su...

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Funny story: Rio named 'Friendliest City in the World'

Rio named 'Friendliest City in the World'

JOBIM, N.H. -- Though it is infamous for its crowds and danger, Rio de Janeiro has been named "the friendliest city in the world." A new study revealed the honor, with runners-up San Jose in Costa Rica and Madrid, Spain. Newark, New Jersey did not ma...

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Funny story: Fly fossil in Antarctica changes view of region's history

Fly fossil in Antarctica changes view of region's history

COLDWATER, Alaska -- A tiny fossil of a fly was discovered 300 miles from the South Pole and the discoverers feel this could help scientists figure out what life was like millions of years ago in Antarctica, an area usually covered with snow and ice...

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Funny story: Flawed gene could be cause of common depression

Flawed gene could be cause of common depression

BANGBOOM, Wisconsin -- Scientists say they've identified a flawed gene that seems to promote manic-depression, or bipolar disorder, or BD, or Bi-DO, or Bip Dis. They hope the finding could eventually help guide scientists to new treatments for an all...

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Funny story: Top artists suspects in major theft of their own works

Top artists suspects in major theft of their own works

NORTHMUFFIN, Great Britain -- A recent report claims "three stolen paintings by Vincent van Gogh, Pablo Picasso and Paul Gauguin may have been recovered near the British art gallery where the theft occurred."...

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Funny story: Mice brains enlarged, controversy rises

Mice brains enlarged, controversy rises

RIPLEY, Wyoming -- By fiddling with one gene, scientists have discovered they can increase the size of brains in mice. The process, which comes at the expense of the sanity of no less than 34 scientists, is being applauded by some and condemned by ot...

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Funny story: 'Crown' win could provoke skull-cracking trend

'Crown' win could provoke skull-cracking trend

ELMONT, N.Y. -- The thoroughbred horseracing world is poised for what might possibly be a Triple Crown winner but many inside the sport are concerned that a terrible trend may accompany an historical victory.

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