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Funny satire stories about Martin Shuttlecock

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Funny story: "I've Got Your Fucking Number Mate!" Local Man Tells Rebekah Brooks And Andy Coulson

"I've Got Your Fucking Number Mate!" Local Man Tells Rebekah Brooks And Andy Coulson

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, having been rained off as he attempted to excavate an underground ten room extension to his family residence, took a time out in order to announce that he can quite easily dish the dirt on scandal ridden media executive...

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Funny story: Britain To Sponsor Global Warming

Britain To Sponsor Global Warming

It's not altogether clear just yet, because details are a little sketchy, but it seems that the British Government have given the green light to a white paper promising to commit government funding to global warming. The news comes as Britain shiv...

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Funny story: Local Man Allegedly Hacked By The News Of The World

Local Man Allegedly Hacked By The News Of The World

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, it would appear, has no time whatsoever for the Sunday redtop, 'The News Of The World' or for its editor, Rebekah Brooks. "I'm sure the swines hacked my phone," Shuttlecock complained to anyone who would listen. B...

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Funny story: Flying Ants - Helpful Tips And Money Saving Solutions With Martin Shuttlecock

Flying Ants - Helpful Tips And Money Saving Solutions With Martin Shuttlecock

Flying ants eh? What do you do with them? Good question. On the face of it, flying ants are fucking useless. But are they? We sent Skoob Magazine's very own Martin Shuttlecock out to investigate. He unearthed the following facts down the pub: * The best way to deal with them, is to stamp on them, or hit the fuckers with a rolled up newspaper. *If there are literally millions of the bug...

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Funny story: "Rihanna, Gaga, J-Lo, Beyonce Can't Sing For Sh*t Compared to Millie Jackson" Says Outspoken Local Man

"Rihanna, Gaga, J-Lo, Beyonce Can't Sing For Sh*t Compared to Millie Jackson" Says Outspoken Local Man

Local man, part time satirist and full time waster, Martin Shuttlecock, who according to his schoolteachers "would never amount to anything much" came out with this amazing statement as he took a break from digging out a subterranean ten room extensi...

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Funny story: Has Cheryl Cole Gone Completely Mental Or What? - Local Man Asks After Seeing Twitter Message

Has Cheryl Cole Gone Completely Mental Or What? - Local Man Asks After Seeing Twitter Message

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, barely recovered from the dual ordeals of sausage flavoured lager and a malfunctioning mobile phone, this morning almost choked on his porridge when he accessed his Twitter account and saw a message posted by former Gir...

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Funny story: Local Man Declines Sausage Flavoured Lager

Local Man Declines Sausage Flavoured Lager

Local man Martin Shuttlecock, in an uncharacteristic fit of adventurousness, travelled to the posher suburbs of London, somewhere near, or even in Kent, apparently for a family double-Christening. The ceremony itself passed off without major incid...

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Funny story: Maria Sharapova To Buy £10,000 House In Burnley, Lancashire

Maria Sharapova To Buy £10,000 House In Burnley, Lancashire

Beaten Wimbledon Ladies Singles finalist, Maria Sharapova has been outed as the mystery buyer of a £10,000 terraced house, on Pritchard Street, in Burnley, Lancashire. It is an established fact that Maria Sharapova has a massive fan base in the La...

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Funny story: Local Man To Sign Up As Spoof Writer Following Humungous Row

Local Man To Sign Up As Spoof Writer Following Humungous Row

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today revealed that he plans to sign up for satirical website www.TheSpoof.whatever in order to write accounts of his own misfortunes, as opposed to letting his ex-friend Skoob write about his misadventures and garner al...

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Funny story: Long Suffering Wife Of Local Man Wakes Herself Up Snoring Ahead Of Haye v Klitschko Fight

Long Suffering Wife Of Local Man Wakes Herself Up Snoring Ahead Of Haye v Klitschko Fight

Local woman, Anne Shuttlecock, woke herself up tonight waiting for the David Haye v Wladimir Klitschko World Heavyweight Championship fight, which was being beamed live via satellite from Hamburg, Germany. Insiders say that Anne Shuttlecock fell i...

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Funny story: Local Man Says He's Going Underground

Local Man Says He's Going Underground

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today started digging a big hole in his back garden. The excavation is reported to form the first phase of Shuttlecock's plan to: "go underground, like pop/new wave trio, The Jam did, back in 1980. But not on a train or...

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Funny story: Local Man Involved In Domestic Dispute Over Malfunctioning Mobile Phone

Local Man Involved In Domestic Dispute Over Malfunctioning Mobile Phone

Local technophobe, Martin Shuttlecock, today threatened in no uncertain terms to "take a fucking hammer" to a mobile phone, after a trip into town almost resulted in a bloodbath. Expecting an important call, Shuttlecock agreed to take a mobile pho...

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Funny story: Savoy Drunk - CCTV Footage Goes Viral

Savoy Drunk - CCTV Footage Goes Viral

CCTV footage showing a series of drunken mishaps experienced by a reveller after being ejected from a theatre party at London's plush Savoy Hotel, has gone viral on the internet, generating up to a million hits an hour! Sources reveal that the man...

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Funny story: Local Man In Horrific Flying Ant Terror Shocker

Local Man In Horrific Flying Ant Terror Shocker

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, who frequently describes himself as 'a suave and sophisticated man about town' (Somewhat misguidedly, it has to be said.) was reduced to a jibbering wreck last night following a horrific terror attack shocker perpetrate...

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Funny story: Local Man Denies Involvement In Ronan Parke BGT Twitter Vote Rigging Allegations

Local Man Denies Involvement In Ronan Parke BGT Twitter Vote Rigging Allegations

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was lying low tonight, fearful that he may inadvertently become involved in the Britain's Got Talent/Ronan Parke vote rigging allegations, which prompted Simon Cowell to bring in the police. Friends say that Shuttleco...

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Funny story: Local Man Unimpressed By 3D Johnny Depp Pirate Movie

Local Man Unimpressed By 3D Johnny Depp Pirate Movie

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was treated to his first 3D cinematic experience last night, when he attended a local theatre to see Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz in Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Initial reports indicate that Shuttlec...

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Funny story: Local Man's Wife Feeds Him Cucumber Sandwiches Hoping To Poison Him So She Can Go Looking For Johnny Depp

Local Man's Wife Feeds Him Cucumber Sandwiches Hoping To Poison Him So She Can Go Looking For Johnny Depp

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today revealed that his long suffering wife has been feeding him exclusively on a diet of cucumber sandwiches, since it was revealed that some cucumbers could be laced with lethal quantities of the botulinus - or botuli...

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