Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, having been rained off as he attempted to excavate an underground ten room extension to his family residence, took a time out in order to announce that he can quite easily dish the dirt on scandal ridden media executive...
It's not altogether clear just yet, because details are a little sketchy, but it seems that the British Government have given the green light to a white paper promising to commit government funding to global warming. The news comes as Britain shiv...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, it would appear, has no time whatsoever for the Sunday redtop, 'The News Of The World' or for its editor, Rebekah Brooks. "I'm sure the swines hacked my phone," Shuttlecock complained to anyone who would listen. B...
Flying ants eh? What do you do with them? Good question. On the face of it, flying ants are fucking useless. But are they? We sent Skoob Magazine's very own Martin Shuttlecock out to investigate. He unearthed the following facts down the pub: * The best way to deal with them, is to stamp on them, or hit the fuckers with a rolled up newspaper. *If there are literally millions of the bug...
Local man, part time satirist and full time waster, Martin Shuttlecock, who according to his schoolteachers "would never amount to anything much" came out with this amazing statement as he took a break from digging out a subterranean ten room extensi...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, barely recovered from the dual ordeals of sausage flavoured lager and a malfunctioning mobile phone, this morning almost choked on his porridge when he accessed his Twitter account and saw a message posted by former Gir...
Local man Martin Shuttlecock, in an uncharacteristic fit of adventurousness, travelled to the posher suburbs of London, somewhere near, or even in Kent, apparently for a family double-Christening. The ceremony itself passed off without major incid...
Beaten Wimbledon Ladies Singles finalist, Maria Sharapova has been outed as the mystery buyer of a £10,000 terraced house, on Pritchard Street, in Burnley, Lancashire. It is an established fact that Maria Sharapova has a massive fan base in the La...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today revealed that he plans to sign up for satirical website www.TheSpoof.whatever in order to write accounts of his own misfortunes, as opposed to letting his ex-friend Skoob write about his misadventures and garner al...
Local woman, Anne Shuttlecock, woke herself up tonight waiting for the David Haye v Wladimir Klitschko World Heavyweight Championship fight, which was being beamed live via satellite from Hamburg, Germany. Insiders say that Anne Shuttlecock fell i...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today started digging a big hole in his back garden. The excavation is reported to form the first phase of Shuttlecock's plan to: "go underground, like pop/new wave trio, The Jam did, back in 1980. But not on a train or...
Local technophobe, Martin Shuttlecock, today threatened in no uncertain terms to "take a fucking hammer" to a mobile phone, after a trip into town almost resulted in a bloodbath. Expecting an important call, Shuttlecock agreed to take a mobile pho...
CCTV footage showing a series of drunken mishaps experienced by a reveller after being ejected from a theatre party at London's plush Savoy Hotel, has gone viral on the internet, generating up to a million hits an hour! Sources reveal that the man...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, who frequently describes himself as 'a suave and sophisticated man about town' (Somewhat misguidedly, it has to be said.) was reduced to a jibbering wreck last night following a horrific terror attack shocker perpetrate...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was lying low tonight, fearful that he may inadvertently become involved in the Britain's Got Talent/Ronan Parke vote rigging allegations, which prompted Simon Cowell to bring in the police. Friends say that Shuttleco...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was treated to his first 3D cinematic experience last night, when he attended a local theatre to see Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz in Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Initial reports indicate that Shuttlec...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today revealed that his long suffering wife has been feeding him exclusively on a diet of cucumber sandwiches, since it was revealed that some cucumbers could be laced with lethal quantities of the botulinus - or botuli...
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