NASHVILLE, TN-A flight attendant and one passenger aboard Pentacle Air Flight 69 were slightly injured when the plane encountered severe "turbulence," Tuesday evening, during its approach to the Big Boobies Airstrip. "I'm not exactly certain wha...
George Elliot, 52, has been a compulsive farter for the past 20 years of his life after overdosing on All Bran while holidaying in magical Leeds. His wife Eileen has put up with his flatulence for this long but upon receiving news that her sister...
In a bid to reduce the threat posed by methane emissions, the G8 Summit will today hear from the British Chancellor of the Exchequer. Alistair Dearest will announce an international agreement to impose a Flatulence Activated Recycling Tax to be br...
GARNER, NC - James "Slim Jim" Mumford is missing and two others are dead following a massive explosion at the Mechanically Separated Jerky Treats factory in North Carolina Tuesday morning. Mumford had already eaten more than one-hundred of the com...
At approximately 15:03 hours BST, an unknown person dropped what can only be described as the world's most pungent fart in London's bustling West End. It is thought that the fart was released between Piccadilly Circus and Leicester Square, before enc...
In a show dominated by strippers, belly dancers and crap singers Britain's Got Talent partially redeemed itself when a young man named Greg Pritchard took the stage, looking every inch the rock icon. Introducing himself as a hotel waiter, Greg wen...
Britain's Got Talent got off to a spectacular start this evening with an act who called himself Mr Methane and described himself as a flatulist. Which basically means that he farts tunes. Out of his arse. A bit like the old time French entertainer...
It began as just a bad idea. Someone at the EPA heard that the government wanted to lower the amounts of methane and other green-house gases to help stop global warming, which according to President Bush doesn't even exist. And so, they decided tha...
Craptastic Industries is introducing yet another wonderful product, the Fartblaster. Whether you have gas everyday or just seem to develop it while out on a date or at Thanksgiving and Christmas time with the family, this is just what you need. Made of soft pliable flibber, the pointy end is easily placed slightly up your rectum and fluffs out so that it will stay poot. The Fartblaster al...
In Cleveland, Ohio, three researchers were killed and 15 more were overcome by toxic fumes as prehistoric putrefaction escaped from the antediluvian ass of a baby mammoth carcass. The world-renowned scientists had gathered at Case Western's Harr...
Dateline Cairo, Egypt - A storeroom housing about three dozen ancient Egyptian fossilized farts have been unearthed inside a 3,000-year-old tomb during the latest round of excavations at the vast necropolis of Mimfft, twenty one miles south of Cairo,...
A British engineer from Hampshire has broken the world land speed record for a human gas powered vehicle. Richard Jenkins reached 126.1 mph (202.9 kmh) in his car Greenbird on the dry plains of Ivanpah Lake in Nevada purely by using farts, collect...
Wilkes Barre, PA-At a rest stop on the Pennsylvania turnpike, a young man tried to conceal his call to nature by coughing in-sync with his flatulence. Christopher Breen, 21, of Glenside Pennsylvania, was traveling north to visit friends at S...
Brave Jade Goody farted yesterday, to the relief of tabloid journalists who almost had nothing to write about her. The fart came just in time for the deadline, meaning her face was able to stay on the front page of the newspaper that has been keep...
South America - Venezoolian President Ugo Chevy reacted to Mr. Satan who mouthed off pretty bad. Mr. Satan, of Columbia, said he just might invade Venezoolia to look for Farcs. "We know how they drop cans of beans and then send in dogs to find...
Jungle, Colombia - Colombian soldiers say they have found extensive undigested food deep in enemy troops intestines; used by farting guerrillas to throw off blood hound tracking, these farts are making a large strategic difference. Special forces...
Following recent aviation disasters industry investigators have asked the question: "Are the pilots' to blame?" Survivors have complained of strange noises and foul smells just before the crashes. The pilots had also announced that "we are experie...
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