Jokes

All jokes submitted by Jo Dash.

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Question to ponder.

Who do you think has spent more time inside your mum, you or your dad?...

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Pmt

Wife with PMT: OY DO YOU WANT ANYTHING TO EAT?...

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Liverpool FC

The first task for the Chikean miners now they are released is to visit Anfield...

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Notice to employees

SICKNESS We will no longer accept your doctors statements as proof. We believe...

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Steve and Kate were having dinner in a very posh restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away, noticed that Steve was slowly sliding down his chair under the table while...

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Stuck....where??

A man is driving along the motorway with his wife in the passenger seat. During the drive, the wife gets an idea. She starts taking off her clothing piece by piece and tossing them out the window. The...

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The unfortunate parents

A wife goes into labour and as soon as the baby is born, he is whisked away to intensive care. The following day, the parents are allowed to visit the baby, but beforehand, the doctor sits them down and...

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Irish joke

Paddy bursts into the local benefits office. Ive been ringing 0800 1730 for two fucking days. Why dont you bastards ever answer the phone? Those are our opening hours....

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Thank you, come again

A store-keeper was lying on his deathbed, surrounded by his family. Wife, are you here? He asks. Yes, I am here replies the wife. Son, are you here? Yes father, I am here replies the son. Daughter, are...

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