The Pope - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 6 May 2012

Who knew that, during my 2010 visit to Britain, James Murdoch made a £100,000 donation towards funding the trip, and was granted a private audience with me.

In 1998, yet another pontifical miracle saw Rupert, a convert to the faith, made a Knight Commander of St Gregory not long after donating $10m towards the building of Los Angeles Cathedral, an especially hideous lump of concrete.

Some see these as either a weird coincidence or even a Papal miracle, but please do not regard it as anything so vulgar as buying access.

That is not, has never been, and never will be the Murdoch family's way.