Sven Goran Eriksson - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Dear Diary,

What a start to this season's campaign.

We began with a win with eight new signings at Meadow Lane where Bradford City were the visitors.

I must admit I was not expecting our team to score so soon after the kick-off. I had only just purchased my chicken balti pie from the vendor outside the ground when I heard an almighty roar - we had scored our first goal within 17 minutes. I almost choked - it's embarrassing with diet coke streaming out of your nose and pastry splattered on your new suit!

I immediately rushed toward my seat but someone hadn't told Mr Jobsworth - the gate steward - that I had been appointed Director of Football. I argued politely and softly that my appointment can be verified with my chairman and fans.

Another roar from the crowd went up and it sounded like we scored our second goal after 39 minutes.

He still insisted, 'No official pass - no entry.'

The 9,000 strong roared again just before half-time and I realised we had made it 3-0.
Mr Jobsworth said I was trying to blag my way into Meadow Lane and that I was a look-a-like Sven-Goran Eriksson.

Another shout went up after 54 minutes as we scored our fourth goal.

'The real Sven would not take the job as Director of Football at Notts County - why should he be interested in a lowly 2nd Division club,' he questioned.

With four minutes left of play my boys made it 5-0.

After producing my 'access all areas' which was covered in curry sauce I finally took my seat among the ever faithful. I was criticized for leaving the England games too early and missing a last minute goal but not this time. I decided to stay glued to my seat for the next league game until the same head steward told me we play Macclesfield field - away!

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