Sven Goran Eriksson - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Dear Diary, 31st July 09

Not since England striker Tommy Lawton - at the peak of his powers - moved from first division Chelsea to Notts County of the 3rd Division in 1947 has there been such heady romance at Meadow Lane.

I have been appointed Director of Football for lowly Notts County and I am thrilled like a Swede on snow skidoo in a suana. Just what am I doing at a football club that finished 89th in the league and 19th in the division? Well I can answer that with ease. Notts County smells of football - that is what I love.

I held my first press conference today with a wave of questions from many reporters. The World of News asked, 'Why Meadow Lane?' I answered politely and softly, 'If you asked me one month ago that I should be in Notts County today, I wouldn't have believed it myself,' I laughed!

The Stun asked, 'Where do you intend to take Notts County?' I simply responded politely and softly, 'From 2nd division to the Premier League within 5 years.' We all laughed!

Sure, I was sacked as England manager and received the same fate from Mexico for being too ambitious.

One local radio reporter asked, 'Are you just here for the money?' I retorted politely and softly, 'The squad here is short and that is why I shall be signing a lot of Mexicans.' No one laughed!

Tomorrow I get to meet the chairman and the players - that should be fun!