Stevie Wonder - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 9 January 2010

People keep asking me "did you have a white Christmas?" How the hell am I supposed to know what a white Christmas is? I don't know anything about white, except that tell me that I'm not white.

And what's all this "decorations of red on a green Christmas tree." I don't care about the color or the decorations; I just care that the rearranged the furniture to put it up and nobody told me and I tripped and fell on my ass.

People are also mad that I didn't have any lights on my tree this year. Hello! What do I need lights on my tree for? Do they help me see the presents underneath? Would they have stopped me from falling on my ass?

Somebody once was stupid enough to ask me if I went snow blind when I was in a heavy snow storm. Dumbass!

I'm glad they told me when they took the decoations down and put the furniture back where it belonged. If I'd busted my ass again tripping over the recliner, somebody was getting his ass fired.

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