Napoleon - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 12 September 2017

Dear Diary,

Damn, I shouldn't have invaded Russia. Why did I listen to Marie Louise? I knew she was angry when I wanted to introduce her to Josephine. How I tried to have a ménage à trois with them! I lavished them with gold and jewels, but still they refused. I believe Josephine would have been more in to it. She's a wild, yet proper lady. Anyway, to hell with Russia I don't need it. I'll try to take over Portugal after I sell some land to the Americans. I'm tired, I need a vacation. My generals tell me that the beaches of Elba are nice.

Toodles,

Napoleon Bonaparte