Harrison Ford - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Dear Diary,

Today I started doing promotion for Jurassic Park 3. Damn it! I mean The Expendables 3 (what a silly mistake, Sly's movie has far more dinosaurs). It's been a tiring day. Those reporters have to ask the same questions over and over again (I must get this hearing aid fixed).

As a movie, I must say, Expendables 3 is difficult to say much about. The plot is flimsy, the production had an outrageously inflated budget, it replaces characterisation and subtext with explosions and violence, and the women in it are used as nothing but eye-candy; it should be a big hit!

Working with Mel, though, was the best thing about doing the picture. He emailed me today; he's finished his autobiography and has tentatively titled it 'Mein Kampf with Alcohol'.

Sly wants to know if I'll be interested in returning for Expendables 4. I told him that after three films movie franchises always start to dip in quality and become more about the money than good storytelling. "It's better to quit while the integrity of the series is intact," I said. Besides, I'll be busy filming Star Wars VII next summer, anyway. I've got plenty of crap on my plate.