Showing snippets written by Jill The Shill.
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Whoopi Goldberg Dishes on Cosby...
"We had a Coke and a smile and then he put a pudding pop in my pooper."
Porn stars picket Miley Cyrus for stealing their gig...
...forcing them into lower paid fetish flicks and street prostitution. "F*ck you, Miley!" said one picket sign near a hotel where Miley was staying. Miley's reply: "I'm working that into my act!"
Liberals Weigh in on Obama's Budget:
"We just got paid today. Got us a pocket full of 'Change'"
Rep. Anthony Weiner petitions to change name....
...but "Johnson" isn't expected to be much better.
Obama Catches Fire in The Gulf....
...ignites leaking methane. BP demands compensation.
Massa Accused of Groping Lady GaGa...
"Honest to God, I thought it was a dude!"
Satan's Rule in Hell Challenged....
....by Birthers who claim he was born in Heaven.
Al Sharpton Informs Somoli Pirates...
...that they should have avoided hijacking the Alabama. "As every black person in the South knows, you stay the hell out of Alabama."
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse on Stand-by....
"...in case an Obama victory makes George Bush go "off his nut" and do something dumber than usual."
Polls Suggest If The Election Were Held Today...
...most people would miss it.
Ron Paul Endorses McCain...
...during a senior moment. Refers to the former presidential candidate as, "A mad man we can trust".
Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live!
McCain Blames Prostate for Ill-Tempered Remarks....
...prostate tells McCain, "Shut the hell up, old man!"
Palin urges U.S. Evangelicals to Join The Taliban...
...along with Israel's Ultra-Orthodox "Modesty Squads" in the persecution of women. Vows to clean up the world "one religion at a time".
McCain Suspends Campaign, Asks for Debate Postponement.
Obama agrees, suggests McCain take the whole month off.
Bill Clinton on "The View"...
...Whoopi Goldberg fired for questioning mysterious stain on Barbara Walters dress.
McCain Predicts GOP Victory in November
Obama questions if McCain can even predict his next bowel movement.
U.S. Federal Reserve Bank Bails Out OJ
Thought he was just another, excessively risky financial institution going belly-up.
Obama Rejects Campaign Donation
Hooker's Lobby Group vows to continue "Blowjobs for Barack" fundraisers.
McCain Picks Palin for VP
Confesses he thought he was hiring a hooker. Apparently misdialed.
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