Spoof Snippets
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Zsa Zsa Gabor all set to become a mother again at the age of 94
The actress looks forward to sharing her mashed bananas and apple puree with the new arrival.
Midsomer Murders producer suspended for using white-only cast to "accurately represent an English village".
Midsomer has the same murder rate as Caracas, Venezuela, even without the drugs cartels.
I'm a winner, claims sacked Charlie Sheen, as he brandishes a machete and drinks "Tiger blood".
CBS retaliate by creating a new show round Tiger Woods - it will feature beautiful women, fast cars and lots of money, but positively no charlie.
Iran threatens to boycott Olympic Games, claiming the logo represents the word "Zion".
Nonsense, says Sebastian Coe - anyone can see it's Lisa Simpson giving a BJ.
Steve Jobs to take over the Charlie Sheen role in "Two and a Half Men".
The Apple boss will star alongside Jon Cryer and Angus T Jones in the newly revamped "Two Men".
Charlie Sheen axed by producer Chuck Lorre after confusing himself with his TV character.
Disorientated actor arrested for trying to chuck Chuck Lorre under lorry.
Apple boss Steve Jobs unveils the new iPad 2
The dramatically thinner, lighter model came back from sick leave to launch the device.
Cheryl Cole to sue website after they photoshopped her image without permission.
Flame-haired stunner's head was grafted onto the body of a talented singer.
Larry the Downing Street cat proves a huge success, destroys every mouse in the house.
We can't use any of the f***ing computers until we order some more, says an exasperated Cameron.
Prison governor says reports of O J Simpson being beaten up by a gang of skinheads was "greatly exaggerated".
In fact O J was given a dirty look by an ugly bloke with a tattoo.
Jewish football team suspended from league as half the players are "outed" as gentiles.
Players Mariusz Mielniczu, Javier Guevara, Ishi Yamamoto and Finbarr O'Lunacy weren't even circumcised, claims outraged Maccabi League chairman, David Woolf
O J Simpson beaten up in prison by skinheads, claims the Daily Mail in a story culled from the National Enquirer.
In the same issue: Michael Jackson found alive and well, working as a pole dancer in Atlantis.
Scunthorpe United blame printers for missing letter after fans receive "Cunthorpe" calendar.
Arsenal FC had similar problem with the same printer last year.
Elton John accuses Simon Cowell of "humping and dumping" X Factor contestants.
"You wish, Elton" says Cowell's spokesman.
Chilean miners' movie, "The 33 of San Jose" ready for release.
The director signs Beyoncé to star in his next movie "Gamu Nhengu - the Wilderness Years".
Prince William accidentally becomes engaged to Cheryl Cole instead of Kate Middleton.
Wakes up next to the wrong dimpled stunner after boozy bachelor party.
Ann Widdecombe survives another round of Strictly Come Dancing.
Her partner Anton du Beke reveals his secret - he practises for two hours a day with a sack of potatoes.
X Factor's Aiden says "I knew I was going because I saw it on Twitter."
He's not that bothered - he's just won millions on the Nigerian lottery.
Riot police storm Hamleys at 6am looking for illegal immigrants.
Terrified cleaners cower among the soft toys, trying to look like teddy bears.
All the money's in China these days, says David Cameron on trade mission to Beijing.
Shares in Wedgwood and Royal Worcester shoot up.
Outsourced jobs coming back from India to America, Obama promises.
New Yorkers can expect up to 50 rupees an hour making clothes for Primark.
Luxury cruise ship stranded in the Pacific receives food drop - 31 tonnes of emergency Spam.
Extra weight delays rescue, ship's captain radios for more Spam.
Indonesian politician "disgusted" by enforced handshake with a woman.
Michelle Obama's hand might as well be her undercarriage, devout cleric says.
X Factor's Katie Waissel reveals the title of her next song choice.
"The Bitch is…Ah sod it, Why Should I Struggle to Remember the Lyrics When You All Hate Me Anyway, You Bunch of Bastards."
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