Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Alexandria177.Show all snippets.
A noticeable subset of Trekkers...
...finds Spock's resurrection in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock to be highly illogical. Also, the weird woozy mysticism of Vulcan is entirely at odds with logic.
Trek fan goes blind
A new Star Trek fan who had never seen Star Trek V: The Final Frontier has gone blind. No one had warned him about the "erotic" dance scene performed by an overaged and over weight Uhura.
Kid points out obvious in math class
If 2 to the 2nd is 4 and 2 to the 1st is 2, then shouldn't 2 to the zeroth be zero? But no, the teacher insisted it was 1, as if not writing a number is somehow something.
The perfect murder gone awry
When the tinsel that Frank deliberately dropped on the floor for his wife's cat to eat did not actually kill it, he knew he was busted. His wife soon found cat turds with tinsel in them.
Girl surprised by new job
A young woman who went to Hollywood to find fame and fortune, accepted employment as a Fluffer, having been told it would get her into the movie scene. She was unaware of what the job required.
Redneck man counts his blessings
While he lives in a trailer park, he still has a higher standard of living than 2/3rds of the Earth's population. This helps. A little.
Joan Rivers nude pics
Are not actually available. Under the Supreme Court doctrine of something that poses a "clear and present danger", they never will be.
Heroic cat saves catnip
While a fire raged at her owner's home, Tabitha bravely darted back in, passed by the parents and baby choking to death from the smoke, and found her catnip bag. She and the nip escaped unsinged.
Dog travels 2,100 miles
A dog who was not lost or left behind, and was tired of waiting to be, has travelled over 2,000 miles to get away from his lousy owners.
"Avatar" concerns actors
As the movie "Avatar" opened to record box office receipt highs, and focused mainly on CGI "actors", real actors are worried. They may be increasingly unnecessary.
Several nations quietly waiting
While the 20th century may justly be regarded as the "American" one, China and India are poising themselves to grab the 21st century title. Brazil and Nigeria are looking to the 22nd.
...now that "awareness" was so thoroughly raised, what actually was done?
Plus sized woman sues Post Office
She has taken offense at the fact that they assigned her a zip code. Just for her.
Explanation reassures parents
Parents concerned that the band "311" was named for the letter K being the 11th letter 3 times (KKK) were relieved to learn that it really was for Omaha, Nebraska's code for "indecent exposure".
Man realizes that he's old
Having made fun of his parent's love of sixties music, he now gets made fun of for his love of eighties music.
UPS guy sues Joe Namath
He says that Joe's dog bit him. The dog says, "Well, the guy was deliverng mail."
Truth is stranger than fiction
The man who played Lumpy on "Leave it to Beaver" is the financial advisor to Jerry Mathers who played "the Beaver".
Robin Williams deluded
The man who has starred in some good movies is sadly still under the impression that joke names about penises are invariably funny. His fans put up with him anyway.
First time killer surprised
A local man embarking on a new career of serial killing was surprised when the guy he stabbed didn't drop dead. His experience with movies had not prepared him for the guy running off screaming.
For a dose of fascist philosophy...
...nothing beats the TV show "COPS". Not only do you get to see losers arrested, you get tough sounding, street savvy "philosophy" from guys who graduated at the bottom of their high school class.
Lone man maintains crusade
A homeless man in Topeka, is still maintaining his lonely crusade against the fluoridation of water. He believes it bad, though he thinks it's Al Qaida's plan now, not the Soviets as he once thought.
Australia fears baby boomers
They are all about to retire, drawing more from the government even as they pay less taxes. The chief fear is that non-white immigrants will have to be allowed in to make up the difference.
UK welfare family gets $59,000 a year
This family of 15 gets more on welfare than they could possibly earn. Not they're trying to earn anything. They are busy breeding the next generation of bums, and that's a full time job.
A man was arrested for hitting a baby on the head, while it was strapped in it's car seat. The baby has said that it's a good thing he was strapped down, or he'd have given as good as he got.