Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Mark Mywords.
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Lady Gaga Totally Hot
She is reported to have arranged to have her air con fixed later this afternoon.
written by Mark Mywords, 12 September 2009
Wrestler Jeff Hardy Accused Of Being In Possession Of Several Kilo's Of Hard Drugs
He says he was only giving Kerry Katona a lift home
written by Mark Mywords, 12 September 2009
'Posh' Dons Boots And Stockings For Photo Shoot
Her excited husband said that when she's got the shorts and shirt on, she'll be ready for a kickabout in the park, with jumpers for goalposts.
written by Mark Mywords, 12 September 2009
'Posh' Looks Hot In Boots
The staff at the Oldham branch of the chemists promised to turn the heating down whilst she was selecting her haemorrhoid cream.
written by Mark Mywords, 12 September 2009
Mel B: "I'm A Fan Of 'Posh' Clothes
The Spice Girls' singer said she enjoyed dressing up, as long as it wasn't in anything made by that vacuous, talentless bint, Victoria Beckham
written by Mark Mywords, 12 September 2009
Sugababe Keisha Says "I'm No Bully"
She slams and hits out at her critics, before threatening to twat them hard in the face with her fist if they don't give her their lunch money.
written by Mark Mywords, 12 September 2009
Semanya Caster Hangs Up Spikes For A Career In Acting
The South African runner has indicated she already has a bit part she is hoping to pull off with aplomb.
written by Mark Mywords, 12 September 2009
Lily Allen Sent Beauty Kit By England Cricket Team To Say 'Thanks'
The kit contained Kevin Pietersen's bat, and an offer by all eleven players to hit her repeatedly in the face with it until her looks improve.
written by Mark Mywords, 12 September 2009
Katie Price Begged Peter To Take Her Back
She said Alex Reid was too busy shagging her at the moment to offer Pete her front too.
written by Mark Mywords, 12 September 2009
Capello Bans WAGS From World Cup
Reports from The Wiggles say Wags doesn't give a shit, as he hates football.
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
Mystery Of Mayor of Exeter's Numberplate Cleared Up
The registration 1 CFJ on the Mayor's ostentatious limousine was today revealed as standing for 'One Cosy Fucking Job'
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
KFC Cleared By Court In 'Boneless Box' Litigation
The judge ripped up the box, and found it contained no bones; it was all cardboard. Rather like the contents.
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
Samantha Cameron asks Sarah Brown: "Got Any Fashion Tips For Me?"
Sarah Brown hands her a Primark bag and tells her to put it over her head. She said it always works for her!
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
"I Can Never Play The Drums Again" Says Phil Collins
Newsflash Phil: You never COULD!
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
A Sack of Baking Potatoes Moves Unaided
It was later confirmed that it was only Natalie Cassidy in a lycra outfit.
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
Victoria Beckham Brings Delight to New York
She gets on a plane out of JFK heading for Kazakhstan!
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
Guy Ritchie Enjoys 41st Birthday Bash As Only HE Knows How
Ex-Mr Madonna bashes waiter, sets fire to a lot of wax sticks, then picks up knife and thrusts it numerous times into birthday cake. The film is to be released next Friday.
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
Kidnap Fears For 'Sugababe' Amelle
Drama ended peacefully when kidnappers agreed to accept a packet of Custard Creams and a promise that the tuneless slapper never makes another record.
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
Flintshire Council Canteen Workers Bring Legal Proceedings Against Pudding
"We told it that if it continued to be a dick, we'd suet!"
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
Male Porn Stars To Be Punished For Delaying Orgasms
In future, say 'Max Head Productions', this kind of behaviour will result in their limousine getting clamped.
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
New Internet Craze Sparks Jihad
Latest internet craze causes holy war, as men walk up to Muslim women wearing full burqa and tell them they have the sexiest eyes they have ever seen.
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
Farmer Angry As Fox Gets Into Livestock Pen
"It get's my f**king goat," he said.
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
Clairvoyant 'Mystic Meg' In Sex Drama
"I didn't see it coming", said Meg.
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
Self-flagellating Catholic Priest Goes Off The Rails
He decides to give God a rest and go on the lash.
written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
Showing page 1 (of 2 pages)
