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Donald Trump Does Ice Bucket Challenge and Melts Away"I've never seen anything like it-first his hair turned green and then he started to melt" said a bystander. "Just like the Wizard of Oz!" shouted another. Everyone then cheered for 2 hours straight.
Angry Birds CEO to step downAngry Birds CEO Mikael Hed will not head the Finnish company next year; he is being replaced because he is not "choleric" enough to effectively represent the hostile video game franchise.
Ft. Hood shooter seeks releaseNidal Hasan, the Army shrink who killed 13 people in his 2009 shooting spree at Ft. Hood, TX, asked to be paroled so he can "have the privilege" of joining ISIS. President Obama may order his pardon.
Chelsea Clinton "insulted" by NBC requestSpoiled brat Chelsea Clinton told NBC to take their job and "shove it," insulted by the request that she continue to intern at her current annual salary of $60,000." "I want more!" she explained.
Scientific Testing Proves:Fox News does make you stupid.
Joan Rivers Loses ItA medical bulletin just released from a Manhattan clinic states that Joan Rivers had stopped talking during throat surgery.
Donald Trump and Sarah Palin Rejected for Brain Study"We regret that we had to reject Mr. Trump and Ms. Palin from our brain study but we don't have a microscope that can see objects that small yet," said the head of the American Society of Scientists.
Lauren Bacall Left All Her Money to Her Children, Her Dog, and Robin WilliamsIn a classic bit of irony, when Lauren Bacall's will was read it was found she had left her estate to her children, her dog, and the late Robin Williams.
NBC Fall Schedule to Include Remakes of My Mother the Car and Mr. EdThe NBC Network announced that since remakes are very popular, besides Mr. Ed and My Mother the Car the network will have a mini-series of Kukla, Fran, and Ollie: The Later Years.
Ayer's Rock Discovered To Be Balancing Weight For Planet WobbleA tire fitter interviewed by our Australian reporter revealed yesterday that he was employed by God to balance the planet's tendency to wobble at 60 m.p.h by chipping bits of Ayer's Rock away.
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