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'3 children per family is ideal', says Pope

'I certainly can't afford any more than that', he added

University Researchers Recommend Prioritising Popular Medical Students For Flu Jabs

'Vaccination rates would rise if people with large social networks influenced their peers,' said a researcher, 'although the unpopular, friendless losers among medical students would remain at risk.'

McDonald's offers LGBT community the "LGBLT"

Spokesman calls it a lifestyle choice that offers "equality, especially when it comes to mouth watering sandwich flavor!"

Lindsey Vonn learns...

...an entirely different definition of 'hot dogging' from Tiger Woods.

Bill Cosby Revealed to Be Secret Meth Cook

In a surprise announcement today it was revealed that Bill Cosby is the secret meth cook that has been flooding LA with something new-Pudding Pop Meth.

Barack Obama moves to enact fart tax to cut US methane emissions by half

President Barack Obama will unveil a plan to tax flatulent-producing foods in order to cut methane emissions from Americans during his remaining two years in the White House.

Chinese New Year Warning Pamphlets Pushed Through Mailboxes

Chinese New Year February 19th reminder circulars have angered residents in North Korea. The pamphlets say that no curried dog will be available during the "Year of the Goat". Doggone shame or what?

Leak Explains Why Obama Wasn't in Paris on Sunday

WashDC-A palace insider revealed that Barack I, Emperor of Americas, had to pay tribute in person to Queen of Sheba-Susan Rice last weekend. The source said: "What Queenie wants, Queenie gets!"

Paris Hilton hires $100,000 full-time nanny for new pooch Beau

Just goes to show the daft woman is barking mad

Teacher who had sex with student threatened victim with peanut-flavored donut

Silly cow ended up being charged with a salt

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