A man was doing eighty on the motorway when the police pulled him over.
"Are you aware you were doing eighty?" the policeman asks.
"I don't see how that's possible," the man replied. "I had the cruise control set to sixty. Perhaps it needs fixing."
"This car doesn't have cruise control," piped up his wife from the passenger seat.
"Be quiet!" the man says.
The policeman starts writing a ticket, and the wife adds, "It's lucky for us you tracked us when you did, and not when we were doing a hundred."
"Shut up!" hissed the husband.
The policeman tuts, and points out: "You're not wearing a seatbelt, sir. That's a mandatory £250 fine."
"I've only just taken it off, in case you wanted me to get out of the car," the man insists.
"No you didn't," said his wife. "You never drive with a seatbelt."
"Shut it, bitch," said the husband as the policeman adds to the list of offences.
"And your tail light is broken," the policeman adds. "And this tire is nearly bald."
"We were just on our way to the garage to get them fixed," the husband lied.
"No, dear," said his wife. "We were just on our way home."
"I swear, you cow, you'll know about it when we get home," the husband threatened.
"Is he always like this?" the policeman asked.
"Only when he's been drinking, officer," she replied with a smile.