Discussion Forum

I was about to peruse the forum, when I noticed the advert for a dating website, plentyoffish underneath the forum section.

After looking quickly over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being watched, I decided to have a sneaky look at what it was all about. It's a dating site, but no ordinary dating site. I don't know if it's something to do with the server I use, and the area it's in, but all the 'dates' on there seemed to be in my locality. Coventry, Birmingham - even Dudley!

The site is free, so I thought I'd sign up - under a false name, of course - and see if anyone contacted my ugly slef.

I'll let you all know in due course.

It probably does do some locality checking based on your ISP.

My ISP's based in London, so I usually get London based content when I come across sites like these.

Have you found yourself a nice new girlfriend on there yet, Mark?

If not, keep looking, there's plenty more fish in the sea.


That's where that site stumbles, really. It should be www.plentymorefishinthesea.com!

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Quote: Monkey Woods

The site is free, so I thought I'd sign up - under a false name, of course - and see if anyone contacted my ugly slef.

I'll let you all know in due course.

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You're playing with fire if you don't mind my saying so, Monkey. Which you probabaly do. But I'm going to say it anyway

Especially since most of the women live realatively(sp?) close to you.

Try to use a computer that's not in your house if possible. That your wife doesn't have access to.

There's no way Mrs. Woods will believe your story-- even though it's the truth. You will have planted a seed of doubt.

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Quote: Madame Bitters

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Quote: Monkey Woods

The site is free, so I thought I'd sign up - under a false name, of course - and see if anyone contacted my ugly slef.

I'll let you all know in due course.

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You're playing with fire if you don't mind my saying so, Monkey. Which you probabaly do. But I'm going to say it anyway

Especially since most of the women live realatively(sp?) close to you.

Try to use a computer that's not in your house if possible. That your wife doesn't have access to.

There's no way Mrs. Woods will believe your story-- even though it's the truth. You will have planted a seed of doubt.

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Go for it, Monkey Woods.
Anything you meet up with on that site s bound to be better than what you're with at the moment!



No offense meant.

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Quote: Madame Bitters

There's no way Mrs. Woods will believe your story-- even though it's the truth. You will have planted a seed of doubt.

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Funny thing, that. I was just on there trying to arrange something for Saturday night - I have every other night filled already! - and I saw my wife's profile! I'll be having a word with her when she gets in. She's gone to bingo. She went on Sunday night; shouldn't she be home by now?

WTF: I am getting all these hot looking women showing up on my E-Mail with references to how they all love the water. One even said she was a diesel mechanic, 2 said they don't mind bottom painting, 5 said they don't mind taking the rudder, and one even said she adores peg legs.....

MW: turn these over to Birbee in his time of need....

Thank You.

Overcome with Pussy,

Morse

Peglegs, huh?

....and she's from Australia.....

Not Winnipeg?

Mr Woods,
Are you really interested in women who are plenty offish?
I know plenty of offish women already.
Kind Regards
Roy

Sorry I'm so late, chaps. I just got back from my first 'date' with my new girlfriend.

It was quite a success, I have to admit. First, I couldn't find the right school, but then...

Hahaha, no, I'm just kidding. Well, actually, I'm not kidding, but that's because the wonderful new lady in my life is none other than the headmistress of a local school. She looked a lot different to her photo on Plenty Offish though. It must have been an old photo. A very old photo.

Anyway, I can't really go into exactly what happened, but I came home without my underpants, if that gives you a clue.

I'm meeting another local lovely tomorrow. Jeanette 21, a local unemployed prostitute. She's not like that though, according to her description on Plenty Offish. She's

"very respectibble, edjucatered and looking for laffs"

Can't wait to see her in the flesh. She says she's lost more than 8 stone since she joined the site, and now fits comfortably into a size 22.

But will you fit comfortably into a size 22? Or will you need a bit of lubrication?

Obviously you don't want to get stuck.

Well, I did spot a fairly chubby woman this afternoon, walking down the road with a pair of boxer shorts on her head...Appears to be about a size 22 come to think of it. She also looked quite intoxicated!

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Quote: BuckwheatsButt

Well, I did spot a fairly chubby woman this afternoon, walking down the road with a pair of boxer shorts on her head...Appears to be about a size 22 come to think of it. She also looked quite intoxicated!

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Sorry about that.
I do like going on my little walks.

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Quote: BuckwheatsButt

Well, I did spot a fairly chubby woman this afternoon, walking down the road with a pair of boxer shorts on her head...Appears to be about a size 22 come to think of it. She also looked quite intoxicated!

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Sorry about that.
I do like going on my little walks.

Hey, JB, you fat fuck!

I like you really. Not as much as my new girlfriends, of course, but that goes without saying.

Fuck off. I'm busy. I'm getting ready to go and see Jeanette, 21.

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Quote: Monkey Woods

Hey, JB, you fat fuck!

I like you really. Not as much as my new girlfriends, of course, but that goes without saying.

Fuck off. I'm busy. I'm getting ready to go and see Jeanette, 21.

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Thats me!
I lied about my age a bit.
And my sex.
Hope you don't mind?




Oh, and my collar and cuffs don't match either.

It wasn't you. I made her write down some details about herself. I told her to use the word 'myself', and she spelt it correctly.

Thus, she was not you.

She wasn't much to look at though, it must be said. Mind you, neither am I! We got on well, but she farted at a crucial moment, and I felt the gas on my cheeks. I was exploring her undercarriage at the time. Not a pretty sight.

I packed her in on the spot. A big spot right next to her arsehole. Munter!

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Quote: Monkey Woods

It wasn't you. I made her write down some details about herself. I told her to use the word 'myself', and she spelt it correctly.

Thus, she was not you.

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If that wasn't me....then who the hell is the big hairy guy sitting on my lap right now?????


Jalapenoman??
no, Jalapenoman! You cad!