Screen Name: Madame Bitters
Madame Bitters has published 50 items on The Spoof.
Check out Madame Bitters's:
Latest Spoof News Story: Friday 11th February 2011
Spoofing since: Thursday 20th November 2008
Location: The heartland of America
Profile: Madame Bitters is the most revered & widely read advice columnist in America, possibly the world. When she passes out her golden nuggets of wisdom, everyone listens and obeys her without question.
Well, not really, but they should. Not because her advice is helpful, but because she says so and is insanely hot.
Madame Bitters was recently voted as one of the most influential and well-dressed idividuals in the greater Fort Worth area by PennyPincher Classifieds (pg.7, lines 9-11 of issue #17, vol. 2).
Madame Bitters has been married 5 times, three of which ended in messy but very profitable divorces.
The other 2 ended in the accidental death & dismemberment of one husband and the accidental poisoning & stabbing of the other. No charges have been filed as of yet, but Madame Bitters has been advised by her suspiciously large team of attorneys not to discuss the particulars of those events.
When Madame Bitters isn't dispensing sound personal advice to her legion of adoring fans and when she's not busy defending herself against baseless accusations where her husbands' deaths are concerned, she enjoys crocheting and planning world domination.
Madame Bitters hasn't written anything in a while, so his/her news feed is seriously out of date!
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6,815 Americans die on Black FridaySome 6,815 Americans died on Black Friday, which is the average daily number of deaths in the U.S. The difference: 6,754 of these deaths were blamed on crazy-ass shoppers trying to score a bargain.
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