Melbourne wins "most Australian city" award

Funny story written by MonkeyInTheBath

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

image for Melbourne wins "most Australian city" award
Nothing can touch down under

The Australian city of Melbourne has beaten Canada's Vancouver to the title of world's most Australian city for the first time in almost a decade.

Vancouver has topped the annual Global Most Australian City Survey since 2002, but this year fell to third place behind Vienna.

Overall, Australian and Canadian cities did well, capturing seven of the top ten spots. Harare, Port Moresby and Dhaka occupied the bottom of the table.

The cities were assessed in five categories - number of kangaroos, accessibility of barbecues, proximity of Rolf Harris, proportion of descendants of convicts and Australian-ness. Melbourne gained extra marks for being the home of Ramsay Street, setting for popular soap Neighbours.

Vienna's surprise showing is largely due to its large number of barbecued sausages and its high population of ex-con pervs.

London was ranked 53rd, despite having more Australians than Australia itself. The lack of kangaroos and Rolf Harris' absence were blamed for the poor showing.

The top 10 most Australian cities 2011 were:

1: Melbourne
2: Vienna
3: Vancouver
4: Toronto
5: Calgary
6: Sydney
7: Helsinki
8: Perth
9: Adelaide
10: Auckland

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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