Written by Minka Kelly

Thursday, 2 June 2011

image for Mel Gibson says to estimate your future prospects
"Save yourselves, because the government doesn't care even though they took your taxes!"

Mel Gibson says that mathematicians are embarking on creating formulas to show outcomes of everything that a human being can possibly do on this earth with time schedules that will tell a person if it is possible for them to accomplish a career choice, marriage, prison sentence, business venture, or vacation.

The group of mathematicians plan on putting their formulas into a computer program which will be available for sale. Customers can type in their personal information and they can take a few test, so the program will be able to correctly estimate any outcome the person wants to know. It's going to be better than a crystal ball, said Gibson.

Gibson said, whether you've reached middle age and you are just now starting to wonder if you are going to be able to retire comfortably at a reasonable age, or you're one of those few people in your 20s or 30s who's already thinking about retirement, you need to crunch some numbers in order to make it happen.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Mel Gibson

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