Obama 'Crown of Thorns' scar is exact match for Vatican reliquary

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Thursday, 7 April 2011

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The Turin Shroud and a holy rabbit's foot once sported by Hitler's Pope Pius XII on Christmas Day 1939 also feature

London - A British Museum exhibition of holy artefucts may hold the key to unlocking the mystery of President Obama's 'Crown of Thorns' cranial scarring.

Photos published this week show distinctive messianic patterns under the President's haircut which - astonishingly - are an exact fit (up) of the torture tiara allegedly worn by Jesus.

The 'Treasures of Heaven' exhibition will display Vatican reliquaries and other fiction items associated with the Church's monopoly of peddling holy crap.

These include a 14th century amethyst pendant containing a thorn 'from the crown that Christ wore on the Cross'.

Legend has it that the woody skin-piercer would be sported one day by Jesus' true successor at a time of great peril on Earth - and/or at the relaunch of a second Presidential tilt at the White House.

The amulet was apparently hewn from a huge amethyst rock which the ancients subsequently carved into one of the iconic Mayan crystal skulls.

Museum curators also plan to display acheiropoieta containing 'the breast milk of the Virgin Mary and Jesus's umbilical cord'.

A holy rabbit's foot once sported by Hitler's Pope Pius XII on Christmas Day 1939 will also feature in the freakshow along with Mother Theresa of Calcutta's sex diary of her romps with descendants of Rommel, Hess and the Queen Mother.

The exhibition opens on June 23.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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