Obituary writers put their feet up as Elizabeth Taylor dies

Funny story written by Deafo

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

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The four poster was booked well in advance

Obituary writers worldwide have their feet up this evening as their oldest draft obituary is set to hit papers tomorrow after the news that screen icon Elizabeth Taylor has passed away at the age of 79.

The double Oscar-winning actress had a long history of ill health, with a rare bout of near fatal pneumonia in 1961 first pricking the attention of obituary writers with several updated versions drafted during further life threatening moments in 1990, 1997 and 2004.

Obit writer Saul Mee said the hours of hard work spent writing at his desk in 1961 had finally come back to reward him.

He told reporters, 'All that planning has finally paid off. It looked like Elizabeth was set to succumb in '61 when she was taken ill with a serious form of pneumonia, and thats when I did most of the donkey work summarising the life-time of the film legend.'

'Sure we made a few adjustments when she reprised her near death experiences with several hip replacements and a further bout of pneumonia, but we just added a few more husbands and a few more poor quality flicks to the list.'

'It couldn't have been any better if she had notified me herself of when she intended to leave her foot in the side of some poor bucket.'

Mee added the previous record holder of the longest drafted obit was for the Queen Mother, who abandoned her duties in 2002.

'Oh God yeah. I'd been sitting on that one for about seventy years.'

'That was more problematic though.'

'The language used was so antiquated I had to start all over again.'

'It was a right hassle.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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