Written by Jack Melling

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Colonel Gaddafi is refusing to quit a mammoth game of Risk that has lasted nearly five days despite having none of his army left.

Gaddafi has been labelled a "sore loser" and "not knowing when to quit" by his fellow Risk players which include all the world leaders, after having most of his empire conquered.

David Cameron, who went out early in the game after making dramatic cuts to his army, commented on the escalating situation, "During the board game Risk, there's a certain etiquette that has to be upheld. If you're close to getting beaten then you leave the game and admit defeat."

"However, Gaddafi has defied this etiquette on numerous occassions and if anything is stopping the game from progressing by refusing to quit. I even caught him trying to cheat!"

It has been reported that during the game Gaddafi, when pressed by fellow players to quit, went into 30 minute long monologues about how everyone will burn in hell for forcing him to quit and that he would rather "become a martyr" and die than leave the game.

Barack Obama, who is still in the game, said, "I can't believe that fool has refused to quit. He only had control of Australia and he lost that continent two days ago. Since then he's been living on borrowed time."

Even Berlusconi, who had control of Africa, has left the game after he thought he saw an attractive lady outside, which turned out to be a tree.

Gaddafi has continued his incoherent ramblings about refusing to quit Risk this evening. In a statement he said, "I will never quit! I can't believe this stupid game! Even Sarah Palin is ahead of me and she thinks all of the continents are made-up names!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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