CoD Black Ops False Advertising: "There are no hot chicks who play Call of Duty: Black Ops."

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for CoD Black Ops False Advertising: "There are no hot chicks who play Call of Duty: Black Ops."
Activision's last game, "Call Of Duty: Lesbians Build Aircraft" was a commercial flop.

The television ad for Activision's blockbuster 'Call of Duty: Black Ops' video game is breathtaking. Unfortunately, it is also a gigantic load of sh-t, says anti-loads of sh-t in advertising activists.

The commercial which opens to the strains of the Rolling Stones' 1938 hit "Gimme Shelter", features a lovely twenty-something woman in a grey flannel business suit emptying an M-16 into unseen enemies, who are probably Iraqi. Because Iraqis are bad. All of them.

Various other 'average Joes' are depicted in the ad as well, such as LA Lakers point guard Kobe Bryant, who earns $24,806,250.00 for the 2010-2011 NBA Season, and Jimmy Kimmel, who earns $6 million a year for his nearly-unwatchable ABC late night show.

The developers are embarrassed that the 'Black Ops' ad entitled 'There's A Soldier In All Of Us' is potentially misleading.

Kobe Bryant and Jimmy Kimmel have not indicated that they'd ever play the game, and, if they did, they wouldn't use easily identifiable screen names like 'Kimmel=250lbTwink' and "Never-Rape-In-Colorado-Again', as they do in the commercial.

Also, the fat chick, who appears to have an orgasm after inexplicably discharging a shotgun into a doorframe, is just an intern. And her weight doesn't affect her mouth whatsoever.

"They're out of line, airing this advertisement," said Piers Shippes, a 48-year-old avid gamer. "Why lead us to believe that chicks would even play this game? I mean, not that I'd even know how to talk to a girl, but I'd like to try it someday."

The FCC has concluded their investigation, and will not file charges, in spite of previous chick-repelling videogames as Star Trek: Voyager - Elite Force; Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast; Star Trek: Kirk is a Power Bottom; Star Trek: Milk The Franchise; and Star Wars Trek Wars Star Trek: Trek Wars In the Stars.

"We'd like to file charges against them," said FCC Chairman Howard Stern. "But they're owned by a company in France. Given how douchey French people are, it'd never stick."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Related Funny Stories…




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more