Wham Bang - No Thank You Mam

Funny story written by Bertram Chapley

Wednesday, 6 July 2005

image for Wham Bang - No Thank You Mam
Mushroom Cloud - Fake

ATOMIC BOMBS NEVER EXISTED - under the 50 year disclosure laws that prevail in the US it has been declared that nuclear weapons never existed and were an elaborate hoax. The hoax was developed initially to fox the Japs in the latter part of the war in the Pacific but because this worked a treat the scheme was extended in 1947 to cajole the Ruskies into thinking they could be made and used.

The Commies found this out from one of their spies at the CIA Victor "The Red Leftie" Veczonmym who at the time was third in command in the agency. They too developed a similar scam and so both sides of the Iron Curtain were fobbing each other off with claims of "mine is bigger than yours" and "I've got a shed full, how many do you have?"

The alleged bombing of Nagasaki and Hiroshima never took place. The images and film taken at the time was of an explosion in a Chicken processing factory in Maryland in 1941 and was manipulated to perceive a massive capability of a new weapon.

The Russians released alleged pictures of atomic testing in 1949 but this was disclosed 5 years ago to being a Fart Lighting Competition that went dramatically wrong in the Urals in 1947. This revelation has prompted the suspicion that the Americans had faked their claims but it has taken the disclosure laws to confirm this.

Soon after the revelation Saddam Hussein demanded to be released from prison because he could never had developed WMD which included an arsenal of nuclear weapons. Osama Bin Ladin has also contacted his lawyers with view to suing the US for expenses in pursuing nuclear weapon capabilities when there was no prospect of getting them.

This is not the first time the disclosure laws have embarrassed the American Government. Twelve years ago it became apparent that Charles Lindburgh's trip over the Atlantic was staged in a wind tunnel in Wyoming and his plane was shipped to France and took off secretly from just outside Lyon.

In years to come other historical events are expected to be declared fake, the biggest and the most expected would be the Moon Landings in 1969 and George Bush winning the Presidential Elections in 2000.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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