Airbus A380 Engines Certified Safe by FAAPT

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for Airbus A380 Engines Certified Safe by FAAPT

Following multiple incidents where engines on the massive Airbus A380 have experienced performance or reliability problems in flight, including a recent Qantas transcontinental flight, Airbus released a report today where the engines were certified as "Safe" by the independent aviation inspection body known as the FAAPT.

As if prepared for controversy over the A380 engines, a proactive stance was taken on inspections and certification of the engines three months ago. Calling for bids from various international and independent aviation inspection firms, a contract was ultimately awarded to the FAAPT in June of 2010.

Apparently the FAAPT formal report was received last week, identifying zero issues requiring attention.

"In fact the FAAPT recommended we ramp up production of the plane and eliminate all maintenance on the engines altogether. That's how sound the engine platforms are", says engineer, Max DeNile.

No response was offered by the FAAPT after repeated requests for interviews following the Qantas incident. In fact, researchers have discovered that the FAAPT organization stands for "Federal Aviation Administration of the Pakistani Taliban". That revelation quickly made it back to Airbus executives where they reportedly scrambled to form an action plan for re-inspections.

DeNile, who was spotted in the company parking lot carrying a box of personal effects was quick to call his dismissal "wrongful". "I was forced to go with the lowest bidder in this case, and we did. Period. Cheese dick, ass covering, pencil pushing, weasels".

The search for another independent research firm, not from a terrorist state, who can write a favorable inspection report, is under way.

No word yet as to whether the actual engine design could have been responsible.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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