"It's all I deserved"
Spoof writer John Butler today modestly gave his own comic story a meagre 2 stars.
He confessed to imaginary reporters, "I just wasn't really happy with it. It felt rushed. I didn't even spend too long searching the net for a suitable picture. I settled for one of the ones already on the website... I mean that's just lazy".
He added, "I spent very little time editing it. I certainly didn't bring my "A-Game" as Tiger Woods might say if he wrote comedy while simultaneously shooting a 73"
"I wasn't to hot on mistakes grammatical either. I'm sure I inserted the odd, inappropriate, comma, or inserted full stops where not really. necessary. I perhaps even inexplicably
began a new paragraph before I had finished completing a
joke.
He added, shaking his head, "I never checked the spelllings eithar or checked to see if I closed quotation marks.
"I've also been known in the past to throw in a semi-colon for no apparent reason in the strangest places. I should have checked for that".
;
Butler was also unsure of the overall quality of the piece.
He moaned, "I mean there was a joke in it I'm sure didn't work but I still left it in. Sometimes you have these jokes that you know aren't funny but you think because you went to the trouble of thinking of it you should include it anyway. You must be more discerning. In joke writing, that's the difference between a Bob Hope and a Bob "Hopeless". If I had just spent the time and effort trimming it down I might have at least given myself a 3".
Butler even went as far to say, "I was worried they wouldn't even publish it. Though, having said that, part of me wishes they didn't".
The story was, in it's writer's view, one of the "least imaginative" he has written and he says in future he will only post story's that he feels warrants at least a generous 5".
"I don't know- it just didn't hit home for me. I should have higher standards. I mean if you look at the quality of the articles posted, I feel it only measures up to about 30% of them. Many of the comic ideas are ill-thought out and though some begin promisingly I rarely manage to deliver that all-telling punchline".
Butler normally awards his own stories 5 stars to boost up its average. He believes this is "a natural human instinct". However, in this case he believes the overall mediocrity of his article demanded that brutal self-honesty override any inclination towards intrinsic self-congratulation.
"I have to push myself more in future. Scan each sentence to see if I could perhaps tweak a phrase, shift nuance emphases and so forth. I gotta be more Harry Porter and less Harry Potter" (the infant wizard being a very poor exponent of satire of course).
"I suppose in my defence, It was late at night and I did have a bottle of Merlot and a few beers in me. Still I should be disciplined enough to know your comedic judgement is impaired when intoxicated and waited the following day so I could view the story in coherent sobriety".
He concluded, "oh well the damage is done. At least I awarded the story a rating it deserved".
