Written by matwil

Sunday, 14 February 2010

image for Nazi Party meets in Nuremberg to vote on membership changes
'They laughed at me when I said I would be a stand-up comedian. Well, they're not laughing now!'

The National Socialist Democratic Workers' Party - the 'Nazis' - today held an extraordinarily silly meeting in Nuremberg for members of it to vote on amending its rules to allow Jews, Communists, Socialists, Trade Unionists, blacks, Asians, Romanies, Russians and small cigar-smoking men making 'V' signs to join them.

The Nazis have been threatened by the British and Americans with air attacks by thousands of their bombers for their mass-murdering policies of genocide and violence and intolerance, unless they change their policies, and their leader Adolf Hitler made a speech to 200,000 Party delegates today.

'People of Germany!', he thundered from his podium, flanked by his Death's Head bodyguards, 'ethnic minorities will now be welcome to join the Party, but of course there are a few conditions. Firstly, they must support us in our aims of world domination and destroying all who oppose us!'

'Secondly, the must give us all their possessions and homes before taking a little free holiday to the East, showing just how friendly and caring us goosestepping fascist thugs really are!', and many 'Heil Hitler!'s began breaking out in the stadium at this.

'And thirdly, did those Britischer schweinhunds really believe that because we say we 'welcome ethic minorities to join us' it means a single thing? Have they forgotten the attacks on ethic minority shops by us across the country? Have they forgotten our speeches of hatred towards them and those photos of us all dressed up in swastikas and looking like a pantomime crew? Have they forgotten us promising to deport all people we don't like the look of out of this country?'

'We will never give up our ideals just because some namby-pamby European court tells us to! We are the master race, and we shall lead the Fatherland onwards to certain defeat in the polls, as millions of white people in reality despise us and will never let us be anything more than a farcical group of little boys playing at being tough guys! Sieg!' 'HEIL!' 'Sieg!' 'HEIL!'

It is not known how many people from ethnic minorities will be joining the most violent, extremist, intolerant and racist political party in modern history. Some were predicting it would be none.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Nazi

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
58 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more