Belfast - (Largactil Shuffle): Doctors at the Ballybollox 12-Step Colonic Irrigation Clinic treating Iris Robinson's nymphomania have said that 'just a few more flushes' will soon put the smile back on her face again.
Mrs Robinson initially refused traditional psychiatric treatment 'such as cold showers, electric shock therapy and the threat of an underage sex lawsuit.'
Instead she is plumping for Princess Diana's favorite remedy of a chemical cosh administered a la Francaise.
Practitioners reckon this is the fastest, most direct route for anti-psychotics to reach the troubled neural receptors governing an over-stimulated vaginal cavity.
Mrs Robinson has been given an even money chance of complete recovery based on a committment to total abstinence from all stimulants.
"And to be sure that includes the auto-erotic," Ballybollox head of treatment Prof V O'Smartt-Bollox said today.
The DUP MP was admitted on New Year's Eve suffering from a depressive condition after being dumped by her 19 year-old toyboy Kirk McCambley.
Police are investigating a fifty grand backhander paid to Robinson by property developers responsible for initially doshing up the young Belfast butcher.
Peter Robinson is 69.
