Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

image for Shagging Iris depleted my manhood says Kirk 'The Graduate' McCambley
Balls retraction: McCambley dumped Mrs Robinson after finding out she'd screwed over his Pa

Belfast - (Gonads): The Northern Ireland butcher says his ex-lover's carnal appetites were so gross it sometimes felt like his entire manhood 'had been sucked from his loins' after some of their steamy x-rated sessions.

"And then I found out like she'd also shagged my Pa," McCambley related, "maybe half of me pals in the Falls Road too."

The 21 year-old said today he wouldn't be visiting Mrs Robinson in the psychiatric clinic where she is reported to be receiveing a cute (sic) therapy from some charming young doctors.

"Wouldn't piss on her now if she was on fire!" McCambley added.

The remarks follow tabloid reports today that he had to resort to making up a few whopping great big fibs 'to get Mrs Robinson off his back.'

One of these was that he developed testicular cancer as the reason he was unable to stand to attention any more in Mrs R's presence.

"Actually, me balls shrank back inside my body the last time she asked for a good seeing to," McCambley added.

Peter Robinson is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Iris Robinson

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