US Prez Ba[ckt]ra[c]k Obama unsure of 2012 run

Funny story written by shea lo

Saturday, 21 November 2009

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WASHINGTON: After bowing for forgiveness before the Japanese Emperor and grovelling in front of the appalling old waxworks Chinese Communist Party officials, a much-weakened US Prez Backtrack Obama this week succeeded in further muddying America's so-called 'faux-reign' policy.

"Poor Backtrack - he wants everybody to love him"
, said an unnamed, I-am-so-not-impressed member of his team.

Obi-don't-kenobi has stumbled while playing international tic-tac-toe in his first year as Prez without being able to articulate exactly where America stands on the world stage. He has however done incredibly well in further diminishing America's clout among all its so-called allies.

Hands up those who love the US:
Pakistan: once most favored non-NATO ally? = 1000% anti-US
India: new-found democratic ally? = Don't trust Obama
Saudi Arabia = Bring the Bushes back
China: #1 trading partner = "No way! we going to clush you"
Iran: "Kill the Evil Satan"

Having pissed off Afghanistan/Pakistan/Iran/India/Russia and anybody else that matters the Great Obaminator is still struggling to come up with a coherent Afghanistan policy. Most likely it will be the usual US cut-and-run following which Holbrooke will orchestrate a way to oust Karzai; split Afghanistan into Pashtun and Tajik-Uzbek regions (which is what the insecure/paranoid/deranged/untrustworthy Pakistani Army would like so they can continue to wreak mayhem in India while making Pashtun Afghanistan a pliant client state)

Mr. Obama thinks he can seduce the world with his oratorical charm. Pronouncing Pakistan as "Pawkisstawn" and claiming to be able to cook "daal" might charm the US-Pak community but not ROW (rest of the world). Outsourcing the Af-Pak problem to Pakistan to 'monitor' will only be a repeat of earlier American mistakes.

A hawk in the Indian Administration commented: "Sucking up to China to resolve the Kashmir crisis won't make Pakistan fight harder in Afghanistan or bring world peace. Not to mention that he has thoroughly angered the Indians with his silly-bugger double-talk. Duh Mr. President, who do you think is Pak's biggest nuclear supporter? What is he proposing - an independent Kashmir in which China will invest heavily? Does he think India is nuts?"

Unhappy Independents and Lou Dobbs for Prez supporters say: "Such ill-thought out, desperate moves only reveal Mr. Obama as unable to fashion out a strong US policy; naive; completely ignorant of the problems of Asia and utterly incompetent in tackling meaty issues head-on. He has found out that you can't unilaterally decide to sit down and talk with everyone. What he needs to do is come up with a bold statement that shows America is not kow-towing - that it stands for what it says. So far his delayed moves have only served to expose his failed foreign policy".

Crush Limberger mocked: "Perhaps Mr. Obama is expressing his undying gratitude to the Nobel Peace committee a la Sally Field "Oooh, you love me, you really love me". Does America really need a hesitant unsure American leader?"

Other critics feel that equally, this also reveals his fledgling administration's ignorance of decades-old political sensitivities. His gutless refusal to meet with the Dalai Lama shows how China leads him by the nose hairs. His inability to strongly and surely confront the Pakistan-China nuclear proliferation nexus shows his fear and ineptitude. All he seems to be given to is making gratuitous 'joint statements' that aren't worth the paper they are written on. Furthermore, whatever alliances America could be cultivating on the international front are dis-integrating due to dithering, double-dealing, back-tracking, bad advice and a lack of intestinal fortitude.

So what was this big "Change" he offered the world? DDSS? Different day same shit. Is it any wonder that when he was asked if he would consider a 2012 re-run he actually mumbled, fumbled and obfuscated? Perhaps the Smooth Operator is realizing that EXPERIENCE is necessary for the job of POTUS. Perhaps the thought of a second term run is raising the Peter Principle nemesis.

Mr. Obama should go back to what he does best - leading a movement because that is what visionaries can do best. That is why Mahatma Gandhi did not become India's Prime Minister. Mr. Obama's leadership skills have not yet been sorely tested but based on a preview he has not been able to successfully convert his Change mantra into action. At the end of the day it is just another word.

Perhaps with his best buddy Oprah Winfrey stepping down from her show in 2011 Mr. Obama might want to consider his own talk show - after all he is a good talker when he doesn't have to be accountable.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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