Brussels - (Tossers): The woman whose son by Gorgon Brown was shoehorned into Kensington Palace as a lookalike Prince William back in 1985 has landed the top blagging job in the EU.
Turkey-necked Cathy Ashton donated her little Broonie brat to the royal household after mad-as-a-hatter Prince Charles shot and ate his two young sons following a nine day cocaine and LSD bender.
The real Wills and Harry were buried six feet below a rather splendid fatsia japonica in a Kensington Palace herbaceous border.
Ashton 69, has now been rewarded for her donation with the top House of Windsor rottweiler job of paving the way for a 2012 'royal' wedding.
"Wiz zose horsey teeth and ze ligature marks on her gizzard ow else she get such a topnotch job?" a former KGB Brussels station chief complained, rhetorically.
Camilla Parker Bowles is is partially midget.