World Bingo Ball Shortage causes demonstrations

Funny story written by Locket

Friday, 18 September 2009

Rage at the world Bingo ball shortage caused many dozens of keen bingo players to take to the streets in the UK and America.

The world shortage of bingo balls has forced many local bingo halls to close their doors indefinitely or go on two a day month openings. This has infuriated many players who see bingo as their only form of entertainment after the telly.

The demonstrations arranged by BIMGO (Bingo Is My Game OK) were mainly peaceful with only one arrest when a demonstrator daubed all the fours on the street signs for 42nd Street New York, forcing many motorists to believe it was 2nd Street and caused a traffic jam going back nearly 100 meters. Mrs. Fulhouse, 72, was later released without charge.

A spokeswoman for Macka, the largest bingo operator in the UK explained the situation. "The world shortage of bingo balls is obviously a big concern for us. Just in our organization we use nearly one million bingo balls a year and the Chinese factory that produces them for us, say they can supply only 180 a day, just enough for two 90 ball bingo games. We had no option but to introduce these measures until supplies can be assured." She went on to say "We understand the obvious anger to our bingo players but they have to realize this situation has been forced upon us. We have, though at on own expense, set up bingo crisis centers across the UK and USA and will offer free counseling and a free lottery ticket for all those who may be suffering from A1B1 syndrome.

China accounts for 98% of the worlds output in bingo balls and blame the inability to produce bingo balls on the poor harvest of Hycithia, (latin name Istribingolus) which is used in the manufacture of bingo balls. A spokesman for Bingo Balls R Us, the biggest manufacturer in China had this to say. "Hycithia needs al least 165mm of water to grow and flower but this year, due to the world economic crisis, rainfall is down 30%, based on the RAINDEQ average. Harvest figures therefore are down from 64 million tonnes to just 6 million tonnes"

On the plus side online bingo operators are seeing a huge increase is player signups. A spokesperson for PlayUKandUSABingoOnline.web, one of the biggest online bingo operators emailed this statement.

"We could see it this situation coming and blame the terrestrial bingo companies for not taking action sooner. We at playukandusabingo.web moved away from using bingo balls for our online bingo games and invested thousands of dollars into virtual cyber generated bingo ball simulator software (VCGBBSS). This means we rely totally on Softmicro software instead of out dated bingo ball pop up machines. This gives us security and players a much better gaming experi$!#@$#" Unfortunately we could not report the full email statement as their messaging system was a new beta version and still a bit 'buggy'."

If your local bingo hall is affected from this developing crisis and you are suffering from the recently discovered NoBingo (A1B1) then consider playing online bingo. A1B1 syndrome expert, Ms coverall, has completed a report and she says that without any proof, playing online bingo will cure A1B1 syndrome in about 10 minutes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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