Written by Leonardo Picasso

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

image for Boy George Accidentally Injures Third Eye
Boy George is having makeup problems!

As if it wasn't enough that "Ole Boy George" has been having a string of bad luck with tying up his snacks to radiators, he has now created more problems for his all but dissipated career.

In a recent "fronce" with a local "150 roses" per hour boy, BG accidentally opened up his third eye. The resulting vortex of bad 80's electro pop poured from Georgie's puffy face for over a week before scientists from the Cern Accelerator where called in to knit him a third brow. Scientists maintained that the volume of whinny music was disturbing the ongoing calibrations of the accelerator. Late this week the music died and the swishing singer was able to take a rest.

After a twelve hour lull the singer regained his composure and claims he is Aleister Crowley, the early twentieth century psychic that wrote copy for the Nazi's during WWII. Maybe some good lyrics are on there way.

Boy George was heard commenting that this third eye stuff is way more powerful than heroin, and has given him a new outlook on life. Unfortunately, this third eye is not so twenty twenty, and friends claim the boy is actually slipping deeper into his delusions. He is to appear in court on Tuesday on charges of trying to eat a young twenty year old prostitute, in a scene reminiscent of Andy Warhol's Dracula, Boy George is said to have spit up a piece of the man's ass and screamed in that Joe Delasandro voice" Ahhh, he is not a virgin". The young man was able to escape with blood drenched Louis Vuitton jeans , by poking BG in the third eye.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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