Lahore Police Academy Recaptured Due To Perfectly Timed Operation

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

image for Lahore Police Academy Recaptured Due To Perfectly Timed Operation
Pakistani precision timing

Pakistani security forces who recaptured a police academy after eight hours of clashes with gunmen responsible for seizing the complex during a morning drill, say that the rescue operation was a success due to its perfect timing.

The siege at the Manawan police training school on the outskirts of Lahore started at around 0800 (0300) local time, and ended at 1600 local time (1100GMT), which means that, by the mathematical process of subtraction, we can calculate that the siege lasted about 8 hours.

The academy was brought back under security forces' control after sustained heavy gunfire lasting 15 minutes. This is almost exactly a quarter-of-an-hour.

Normally, most people walk at a speed of about 3 miles per hour, which means that, in the time it took the gun battle to rage, one could have walked around three-quarters of a mile - some going!

As for the duration of the siege, it was perfectly timed to last as long as the average person needs to sleep, thereby thoughtfully ensuring that those who were asleep were not disturbed during their slumbers.

Pakistan is famous for its tremendous timing systems, and is the home of noted watch company Swatch, as well as hundreds of companies that produce world-renowned Pakistani cuckoo clocks.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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