Thousands of Iraqis poured into the streets of Loaffarr in Baghdad recently in support of Muntazer al-Zaidi, who was catapulted from obscurity to worldwide celebrity after hurling his size ten loafers at former US President, George Bush.
As the Iraqi journalist remained in detention for what authorities described as "excellent pace, delivery, marksmanship, and velocity, but sadly, unlucky".
Tempers frayed during late afternoon, as news of Al Zaidi's incarceration spread across the city. Then came the inevitable flashpoint resulting in a crowd in Baghdad pelting US troops with their shoes in one of many street protests called in support of the reporter's action.
US forces returned fire with several volleys of "riot slippers" issued earlier in the day as part of a contingency plan for such an event.
"Thanks be to God, Muntazer's act fills Iraqi hearts with pride," the journalist's brother, Udai al-Zaidi, said. Immediately before being felled by a sneaker with "greeting from North Carolina" emblazoned upon it.
Udai went on to claim,"I am sure many Iraqis want to do what Muntazer did except with an RPG or a Kalashnikov AK47 next time, in place of sturdy brogues, or the like.
Details emerged yesterday of how the 29-year-old Shia reporter, who has been working for al-Baghdadiyah television for three years, had been hit by all sides in the Iraq war. "He hates the American material occupation as much as he hates the Iranian moral occupation," another brother, Dhirgham, said. "Whatever he did the shoe seemed to be on the wrong foot, he couldn't win".
To attempt to pacify both sides and ingratiate himself with the relevant powers, Muntazar took to wearing a sandal and a "Hush Puppy" simultaneously but to no avail.
Several arrests later and Muntazar was left in no doubt that, his feet were not welcome in either camp. He did however get his foot in the door for a while along with his head, as he was tortured and hurled between rooms of Sunni militants.
It is alleged that Muntazar was abducted, "Radicalised" and taught to use assault grade footwear, which is suspected of being supplied by the Iranians.
"The Doomrainians and the Pakistramis took their best shot but missed," claimed the outgoing President, George Bush. Following extensive medical tests, Bush was said to have suffered nothing more dangerous than a grazed buttock from a ricocheting odour eater.
United States military satellites have discovered a number of secret Iranian "Boot Camp" facilities in which young, radical Islamo -Fascists are being trained to launch high calibre footwear at leaders of the Infidels. Despite claims that nuclear grade shoes are being produced purely for domestic use, it is suspected that Iran is only months away from developing a nuclear boot delivery system.
Tel Aviv makes no secret of its intentions in the event of an attempted kick up its Kosher ass by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Military forces claim killer heels and sharpened, Jimmy Choo's are commonplace in Helmand province where several soldiers have been wounded or killed when bending over to retrieve some 'Improvised Exotic Footwear, or I.E.D,s.
Returning to the unfortunate Al-Zaida, Last year, he was kidnapped by militants in a Sunni area in west Baghdad and held for three days during which time he sold some carpets and put a deposit down on a sofa, unfortunately the cheque bounced and he was badly "spanked" before being released. This January Muntazar was arrested in an American raid.
Troops searched his apartment in a covert operation to remove a suspected Syrian trainer which turned out to be nothing more sinister than a pair of "sneakers". Mr Zaidi was held overnight and then released with an apology, which included the return of some Syrian slippers found in his closet.
Friends said the journalist had also covered the US bombing of Sadr City this year and was traumatised by the destruction he had seen. However, friends expressed concern at his hoarding of specialist, high calibre, and military grade footwear. "He claimed it was for hiking or outdoor pursuits. Friends expressed disquiet at Zaidi's growing horde of kickers said to include a pair of sixteen hole skinhead, "moonstompers" by Dr Marten. "Who needs rows of upon rows of progressively heavier and more powerful footwear "asked "conical Ali", a suspected former Ba'athist member with a pointy head?
The journalist was still in detention last night; with officials saying his size 10 black loafers had been confiscated and re-healed by Iraqi security "heavies" as an expression of contrition for breaking his arm in the ensuing scuffle.
CIA agents attempted to placate local tribal chiefs by buffing Al zaida's Loafers, rehealing them in addition to six months supply of suede cleaner as part of the investigation and purchase agreement. "Return within three working days if dissatisfied with any aspect of this investigation! Keep purchase receipt"!
Technically, he could face several years in jail for insulting a visiting head of state. If there are legal proceedings, Saddam Hussein's former lawyer has offered to defend him. However, it will be difficult for the Iraqi government to act against a patriotic hero. Muntazar also fears receiving the suspended (by the neck) sentence awarded to Saddam.
